HOW TO LEARN ENGLISH EFFECTIVELY ON YOUR OWN

Today is the second day of Chinese New Year but instead of going out with friends and visiting relatives, I stay at home and  enjoy myself in my own way. Although the SOP for family reunion dinners for Chinese New Year now allowed up to 15 close family members, I don't even dare to sit at the same table with my brothers and would rather eat my meals alone. It doesn't matter how many people are there at the same table - if one of them is infected with the Covid-19 virus, the others will get it too. This is also the first time I celebrate Chinese New Year without buying any new clothes and new shoes but since I have bought so many clothes and shoes in the past, it does not matter to me. I certainly won't risk my life going to the shops to buy non-essential items. It seems that the Coronavirus Pandemic has changed the way I celebrate Chinese New Year but it is not a bad thing because I can relax at home in a peaceful and calm environment. Since change is inevitable, we have to find positive ways to deal with it. 

Covid-19 has not only changed the way we live but also the way we educate our future generations. In many countries, schools remain closed due to the pandemic and many children receive no education because they cannot access online learning. We do not know how long this situation will last but we certainly cannot allow our future generations to hang around each day doing and learning nothing. What if the pandemic could last seven more years (according to the Bloomberg Report)? Surely we cannot let the children waste seven years of their lives just like that! Although some parents are thankful that their children can help them at the stalls, this should not be the way they educate their children. In this article, I would like to share how one can be educated without going to school and without access to the internet with special reference to the teaching and learning of English as a second language.

I am sure many of us can still remember how Abraham Lincoln educated himself even though he had a turbulent childhood and grew up in abject poverty. Although he had only attended school less than twelve months throughout his entire life and his formal schooling ended when he was fifteen, that did not deter him from acquiring knowledge. He had walked to borrow every book within fifty miles of his home and read all the books he could lay his hands on. He worked on his father's farm in the day and read by the light of the fireplace in the night. He also carried a book with him and read whenever he had the time. According to Professor Emerton, "He was no longer at school, but was simply educating himself by the only pedagogical method which ever yet produced any results anywhere, namely, by the method of his own tireless energy in continuous study and practice" (Carnegie, p. 237). Lincoln had always considered his education to be defective as there was little inspiration that he could get from his mentors and daily environment. However, his remarkable struggle to overcome adversities and stunning work of self-education had brought him great success. The inspiring story of Abraham Lincoln, an entirely self-taught man, has thus proven that self-education is possible as long as one is ready to put his mind and heart to it. I have followed his example and found that it worked very well for me. But of course this would mean that we must learn and master the art of self-discipline and self-control. 

Children's Britannica Volume 11 & Volume 12

When did I begin learning English and how long did it take me to learn the language from scratch? Frankly speaking, I have never attended kindergarten and my formal schooling only started when I was seven. I lived with my grandmother in Ipoh and returned to Kuala Lumpur just before I entered primary school. At the age of seven, I couldn't speak a word of English or Malay and on the first day of school, I spoke to my Malay class teacher in Chinese. But one year later, I was able to converse very fluently with my teachers and friends in English and Malay. At the age of eight, I loved to read English picture books and had always looked forward to go to the bookshops to choose my favorite stories. When I was 9 years old, I received the first English letter from my 11-year-old cousin brother and since then we have been writing to each other. It seemed that writing just came naturally to me and I have never considered it to be a problem at all. I didn't read picture books anymore when I got my 16 Volume Set of The Young Children's Encyclopedia on my 10th birthday because these books really kept me busy. I have read and re-read this encyclopedia set several times. When I was eleven, I started reading Enid Blyton's works and the Hardy Boys novels - something which many of our present day graduates cannot afford to do. At thirteen, I was already reading the complete and unabridged works of Louisa M. Alcott (Little Women, Good Wives, Jo's Boys) and R.D. Blackmore (Lorna Doone). However, that was only the beginning of my interest in classic literature books. I went on to read the complete and unabridged novels of Jane Austen and Pearl S. Buck the following year. This was followed by the works of Emily Bronte, Charlotte Bronte, Daphne du Maurier, Charles Dickens, D.H. Lawrence, etc. By the time I completed secondary school, I have already read most of the classic books and my 20 Volume Set of Children's Britannica. I was also an avid letter writer (since I entered secondary school) and the letters I wrote to my friends could sometimes be as long as 7 or 8 pages. But how did I master the English language when I couldn't speak a word of English at the age of seven? Who were my mentors?

Mouse-deer and the Swordfish

During my early primary school days, my mom and dad used to teach me to read. Apart from the English Readers, they also bought lots of picture books for me. During those days, these picture books were my prized possessions. Among my favorite picture books were Mouse-deer and the Swordfish, The Ugly Duckling, Thumbelina, Hansel and Gretel, Cinderella, Aladdin and the Magic Lamp and The Emperor's New Clothes. My parents did not read to me but I had the habit of reading my favorite picture books over and over again to myself until the words, phrases, and sentences in them become a part of my speech and writing. 

The Young Children's Encyclopedia Volume 11 & Volume 12

As I became more and more familiar with the language, I began to read The Young Children's Encyclopedia. At that time, I somehow felt uneasy repeating the sentences after my parents and preferred to read on my own. I only sought their help when I didn't know how to pronounce certain words. I did not ask my parents to tell me the meanings of the words anymore as I preferred to refer to the dictionary. I am the kind of person who cannot go on reading whenever I come across a word that I do not understand and I can never feel at peace until I have written the new word and its meaning in my vocabulary book. I used to bring along my vocabulary book everywhere and checked whether I could still remember the words in it from time to time. 

Anytime Tales & Mr. Pink-Whistle Interferes

The Naughtiest Girl is the Monitor & Five Go Down to the Sea

Those Dreadful Children & The Secret Seven

When I was eleven, I already had sufficient vocabulary to become an independent reader and need not trouble my parents anymore. I suddenly craved for Enid Blyton's books and spent the next two years of my life reading her works. My first Enid Blyton books were Anytime Tales, Toyland Tales, Mr Pink Whistle Collection, and The Amelia Jane Collection. Some of my favorite Enid Blyton books include The Secret Island, Those Dreadful Children, The Circus of Adventure, The Adventurous Four Collection, The Naughtiest Girl Collection, The Famous Five Collection, The Secret Seven Collection and Malory Towers Collection. I was also a great fan of The Hardy Boys Series. It was at this stage of learning that I discovered I had finally mastered the English language. Although it was my mom who first taught me to read, my English language skills had already surpassed hers. To summarize my entire experience - my parents helped me to build my foundation in English and with this foundation, I taught myself to master the language. It was just as simple as that! But, of course, learning did not just stop there. Thanks to my father and his timeless literature classics, I fell in love with English literature at the tender age of thirteen. While my schoolmates were busy reading Mills & Boons (romantic fiction books), I was busy reading classic literature books. I also read the Children's Britannica and studied the New American Bible (You may also like to read Growing Up with English Literature, an article about learning English through literature).

The Hardy Boys: Hunting for Hidden Gold by Franklin W. Dixon

But what did I do at school? During those days, our teachers used to ask the whole class to read the entire chapter together followed by group and individual reading. Reading in groups does have its disadvantages - some of us read too slowly while others read too fast. I did not like reading in groups and had to pretend to read - moving my lips without making a sound (Since I had already read the whole book at home, I thought it did not matter). After reading, the teachers would discuss the comprehension questions with us and we had to write the questions and answers in our comprehension books. And I was always the first one to hand in my schoolwork. 

Wren & Martin's High School Grammar & Composition is one of the most renowned and widely used reference books on English Grammar. The language is simple and easy to understand. It is the Bible of English Grammar.

Since grammar is the foundation for language learning, I will now share how I "acquired" my English grammar. The word "acquired" is used here because I have never learnt English grammar during my school days. It just came to me naturally. At the age of twenty, I didn't know the meaning of definite & indefinite articles, subject-verb agreement, present continuous tense, past continuous tense, present perfect tense and past perfect tense even though I was able to construct my sentences correctly. How did I get to know about all these tenses? After my Form Six Examination (STPM), I started giving tuition and that was when I came across some grammar notes at the back of one of my dictionaries. It was like a new discovery for me and I was really excited about it. So, I decided to read more and find out more about English grammar - it was indeed an eye-opening experience. If only I had known about grammar earlier, that could have prevented the confusion that I went through in learning the language during my early primary school days. Looking back, I couldn't help feeling that my students are luckier than me because I always make sure that they know their grammar rules. I have the habit of going through their essays with  them and telling them where they have gone wrong. But, who taught me English grammar? Nobody. I had to discover it myself. My parents only taught me to read - they have never mentioned anything about grammar!

Fundamentals of English Grammar Workbook (by Betty Schrampfer Azar and Donald A. Azar), Longman & Grammar Builder Book 1, (by Farida J Ibrahim, Adibah Amin and Rosemary Eravelly), Cambridge Unversity Press

Grammar Builder Book 2 & Book 3, Cambridge University Press

Grammar Builder Book 4 & Book 5, Cambridge University Press

Conscious learning of grammar rules and error correction are a great way to learn a new language. As an English teacher, I have always emphasized on the importance of learning English grammar because I believe that those who do not know basic grammar rules will often  find it difficult to construct grammatically correct sentences. The natural approach to learning a second language does not apply to all as it may take years for the learners to decipher the correct usage of grammar rules. This will not only confuse them but also make learning more difficult for them. They may even end up not knowing any grammar rules at all despite years of learning English. That is why it is necessary for beginners to get some English grammar reference books (above) and improve their grammar skills by doing the exercises given in these books. Parents who feel that their children are not learning anything at home during the Movement Control Order (MCO) can always get some grammar reference books for them. If the children can complete the exercises in one of the books recommended above, they have made a quantum leap in learning English. Since answers are provided at the back of the books, they can easily check their answers themselves. 

Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English

So how are you going to learn English effectively on your own? Can everyone follow my style? If not, there are still many other ways to learn on your own. Those who have no knowledge of English at all can begin their language learning journey with an audio course and learn some essential words, phrases and conversations for every day life. These CDs can easily be found in the bookshops. After learning some basic English words, phrases, and sentences, you can consider expanding your vocabulary using a picture dictionary. Also get a copy of the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English as its pronunciation table can help you with the pronunciations. Read lots of picture books. Singing English songs helps so do get some CDs with lyrics and practise singing yourself. Buy movies with English subtitles because you will learn lots of new English words, sentences, and conversations from them. Try watching the same movie several times and you will soon get used to the way the language is spoken. When you come across any new words in the movies, do remember to look for the meanings of these words in the dictionary. To improve your English speaking skills, you can practice your speech in front of a mirror. I used to do that with Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address and Winston Churchill's Great War Speeches.

Great War Speeches by Sir Winston Churchill

Once you have mastered English grammar and learnt enough words, phrases, sentences, and conversations for you to get along in your daily life, then it is time to start reading some children's books - I would recommend Enid Blyton's books because the stories are interesting and the language used is simple and easy to understand. When you come across any words that you don't understand in these books, do not skip these words but find their meanings in a dictionary. You can consider keeping a pocket vocabulary book where you can write these words and their meanings in it. If you feel that you have forgotten the meanings of some of these words, you can always refer to your pocket vocabulary book again. The good news is - when you find that you can read a few of Enid Blyton's books without any problems and you can understand the meanings of all the words in it, you have succeeded! But don't become complacent yet. You can always do better than others so let's continue reading and become lifelong readers. Remember, the moment you stop learning, you are going backward rather than forward.

This is how your vocabulary book should look like

Apart from Enid Blyton's books, there are many classic children's literature books that are worth reading. Reading carefully selected stories from the children's world of classics are beneficial for English learners as this is an excellent way to increase their language proficiency. Here are some of the must-read children's classic novels that I like to share with my students. 

Fairy Tales (Hans Christian Andersen), Heidi (Johanna Spyri), Black Beauty (Anna Sewell), Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie), The Water-Babies (Charles Kingsley), What Katy Did (Susan M. Coolidge), A Little Princess & The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett).

The Wind in the Willows (by Kenneth Grahame) & Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (by Lewis Carroll)

The Swiss Family Robinson (by Johann David Wyss) and The Coral Island (by R.M. Ballantyne)

If you wish to improve your essay writing skills, you can also buy some essay writing books as these are must have references if you want to write well. Reading these sample essays can give you some ideas in essay writing that will be helpful during an examination. Concerned parents should get some of these books for their children so that they can brush up on their writing skills during the MCO instead of idling away their time.

Essay Writing Books

Effective PT3 Writng & SPM Model Essays and Summaries (English 1119)

Once you have mastered the English language, you will need a better dictionary if you intend to become a lifelong reader. My favorite dictionary is The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language published by Houghton Mifflin Company. It has more than 350,000 entries and meanings illustrated by over 34,000 written examples and by nearly 4000 photographs and drawings. It is one of my most prized possessions and has been keeping me company for many years. 

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language

If you wish to expand your vocabulary and improve your writing, you can get a thesaurus. It is a great reference tool to locate synonyms and vary your choice of words. I would recommend The Everyman Roget's Thesaurus of English Words & Phrases, Webster's New World Dictionary and Thesaurus, and Webster's New Roget's A-Z Thesaurus.

The Everyman Roget's Thesaurus of English Words and Phrases & Webster's New World Dictionary and Thesaurus

Webster's New Roget's A-Z Thesaurus

Self-education gives us a lot freedom and flexibility as we can choose when, what, how, and where to learn. Most of all, it helps us become more resilient and independent and this a good thing because students who are overly dependent on their teachers cannot go very far. If I have been dependent on my teachers, my knowledge of the English language may just be limited to what is in the textbooks. How many teachers will actually tell you about the works of Louisa May Alcott, Pearl S. Buck, Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, Charlotte Bronte, Daphne du Maurier, Charles Dickens, D.H. Lawrence, Joseph Conrad, Thomas Hardy, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allan Poe, John Milton, and most of all, William Shakespeare? Many teachers don't like to read and they have never read anything by Pearl S. Buck, Jane Austen, or Thomas Hardy. They only read what they have to teach and, normally, one chapter ahead of their students. How can they talk about books they haven't read? The use of mother tongue in English language classrooms is also not uncommon. Since children should be exposed to the English language as much as possible during English lessons, too much mother tongue can hinder learning. To gain mastery over the English language, we have to go beyond textbook / classroom learning which can be achieved through self-education. This is particularly true during the coronavirus pandemic when many children are staying home from school. Let's not waste anymore time but adapt to change and master the art of self-education. 

Parents need not worry that they may not be good enough to teach their children English at home. They only need to help their children build a strong foundation in the language and the little ones will do the rest. My mom had limited English proficiency but she helped me to build a very strong foundation in English and the rest is history. Do you know who were Abraham Lincoln's mentors? Caleb Hazel and Zachariah Birney in the forests of Kentucky, Andrew Crawford and Azel Dorsey along Little Pigeon Creek in Indiana. They were scarcely educated teachers who eked out a meager existence traveling from one place to another, teaching those who could afford to pay in cash or in commodities. But, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address is known to be the greatest speech in the world. Remember the parable of the silver pieces? As what Jesus says, 'Those who have will get more until they grow rich, while those who have not will lose even the little they have (Matthew 25:29). In other words, those who manage their lives well and know how to make the most of what has been given to them will be greatly rewarded. On the other hand, those who do nothing will lose everything. Stay safe and motivated!

You may also like to read HOW TO LEARN FRENCH EFFICIENTLY ON YOUR OWN; TEACHING & LEARNING FRENCH BY ASSOCIATION; and How Abraham Lincoln Inspired Me to Pursue My Ph.D.? To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

References:

1.  How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking. Dale Carnegie.

2.. The New American Bible. Thomas Nelson Publishers.

How to Enjoy Delicious Healthy Meals at Home and Save Money

When I was a little girl, I used to sit on the balcony to read. Since my flat was facing a restaurant kitchen, the restaurant workers tasting soup from a soup ladle and stirring the pot of soup with the same was a familiar sight to me. It was also nothing unusual to see big fat rats running in and out of the restaurant kitchen especially at night. My mom saw the rats too and she knew how the restaurant workers were doing their taste-test but she did not mind and we continued to buy food from that restaurant. Although I did not like it, I had no choice but to conform to the social norm because I had no money to buy my own food. My mother also liked to buy fried noodles and porridge at the morning market, tau foo far (soy bean pudding) and curry noodles at the nearby stalls, coconut tarts, curry puffs, and fried bananas at the weekly night market. These were my favorite foods and I have enjoyed eating them for years until my mom fell ill and I had to buy these foods myself. That was when I began to understand the meaning of food hygiene and food safety. 

At the morning market, I got the shock of my life when I saw how the fried noodles were served. The hawker put the noodles on a layer of plastic which was on top of a layer of newspaper and wrapped them. Well, using newspaper as the second layer in wrapping food was fine but under that layer of newspaper was another layer of plastic followed by another layer of newspaper and so on. In other words, the hawker has arranged the plastic and newspaper alternately, one on top of  the other, and it was obvious that the plastic coming into contact with the newspaper on top of it and below it would have been contaminated. Can anyone imagine how many people have read these newspapers? What if one of them had skin disease or TB? Next, the hawker put her hand into a plastic bag to open it before she put the porridge in it. Did she wash her hands before that? No, she has just collected money from one of her customers. From that day onwards, I never ate her fried noodles and porridge again even though I still bought them for my family members.

Like the porridge seller, the tau foo far seller also put his hand into the plastic bag to open it before putting the tau foo far in it. Well, I did not eat his tau foo far that day but took it home and gave it to my brother. He ate the tau foo far and said, "big germs eat small germs" which meant that he was the big germ that ate the small germs in the tau foo far. The next time I went to buy tau foo far, I brought my Corning Ware with me and asked the seller to put the tau foo far in it. With his thumb sticking in my Corning Ware, the tau foo far really washed his thumb clean for him that day. So, again I gave the tau foo far to my brother who ate it happily. He did not mind when I told him that the hawker washed his thumb with the tau foo far. As for the curry noodles, the same thing happened because it seemed that the hawkers could not open the plastic bags without putting their hands into these bags first. 

Similarly, when I went to the night market to buy food for the family for the first time, I was shocked to see the hawker taking the coconut tarts with his bare hands and putting them in a plastic bag. And he has just collected money before that! The curry puff / fried banana seller was even worse. Instead of using plastic bags, she just took the curry puffs and fried bananas with her bare hands and wrapped them in a newspaper. 

My first set of recipe books (Family Meals, One-course Meals, Curried and Spiced, Vegetarian Food, Healthy Asian food, Oriental Banquets, Quick Meals in a Wok, Oriental Seafood, Asian Cooking for Beginners & Snacks and Party Food) by Charmaine Solomon, the Queen of Asian Cooking in Australia

After these unpleasant experiences, I became very particular about food cleanliness. I started to cook my own food after coming back from the Teachers' Training College and have been eating only the food that I cook myself since then. I can still remember the day I bought my first set of recipe books (above), non-stick wok and stove. During those days, Charmaine Solomon's recipe books were like a Bible to me. At that time, I could not cook very well but after years of cooking various kinds of dishes through trial and error, I have become a super chef now. And with all the cooking videos on the internet today, I am having the time of my life trying out new recipes every day. The meals that I cook are not only tasty and nutritious but also very fresh and hygienic. They are also much cheaper compared to restaurant meals. Who says that you cannot eat a luxurious meal at home? You certainly can have five-star meals at home if you have good mentors and are willing to learn. Who are my mentors? Marion Grasby @ Marion's Kitchen, Natasha Kravchuk @ Natasha's Kitchen, N'Oven, and Yummy's Kitchen. These are really five-star mentors who make life more colorful for me with their mouth-watering videos and I love all their recipes. Not to forget my first cooking mentor, Charmaine Solomon, who inspired me to cook through her wonderful recipes. Although I am not a millionaire, I can still enjoy good food and I consider this a great blessing. Eating five-star foods in the comfort of my home while watching my favorite videos is really heavenly! "To eat is a necessity but to eat intelligently is an art" (Francois de la Rochefoucauld). I am glad that I have learnt the art of enjoying life to the fullest. 

Of course I do eat out but this is an extremely rare occasion. When was the last time I ate out? Well, that was somewhere in December 2019 (today is 30 January 2021) when my former colleague, Geraldine, drove me and two other friends to see her new house. I brought my tupperware, spoon and fork that day because the sight of food particles sticking to the plate, spoon, and fork in the restaurant can make me vomit. I thought of going to a mixed rice restaurant and "tapau" some dishes in my tupperware but Geraldine brought us to a restaurant selling all kinds of noodles. I had no choice but to order curry noodles since that was my favorite. OMG! I nearly fainted when I saw the seller picking the yellow noodles with his hands after collecting money from one of his customers. His curry noodles were not cheap either - I had to pay RM9 for a small bowl of yellow noodles which I did not eat. The problem was - I just couldn't put the noodles in my mouth because the way he kept picking the noodles using his hands was really nauseating. Deep in my mind, I was thinking of my home-cooked purple potato curry pan mee and I felt like crying. I quarreled with Geraldine because of that. What a terrible day!

My favorite beetroot, kelp seaweed, and purple potato pan mee

In the photo above, you can see my favorite beetroot, kelp seaweed, and purple potato noodles. They are very nutritious and do not contain preservatives and coloring. At RM9.20, I can get the whole packet, not just a small bowl of yellow noodles. I don't like to eat yellow noodles because of their high levels of boric acid and benzoic acid which can cause cancer and kidney failure. 

During the early days of my teaching career, I always volunteered to teach in the afternoon session so that I could cook and eat first before going to school. Since the afternoon session started at 1.00 p.m., I always had ample time to cook and enjoy my meals those days. Fridays were the best because school started at 2.45 p.m. and by 7.00 p.m., I was already on my way home to cook a delicious five-star dinner. But, since I started teaching in the morning session, I have to get up a little bit earlier to cook. I usually have noodles for brunch because I don't have much time to cook in the morning. However, I never get tired of eating noodles because my mentors have shared their best noodles recipes with me. Some of these recipes include Spicy Garlic Prawn Spaghetti, Rice Vermicelli with Prawns, Singapore Stir-fried Rice Noodles, Chinese Soy Sauce Chicken with Noodles, Korean Kimchi Vegetable Noodles, Steamed Fish with Noodles, Vegetable Hakka Noodles, Special Hokkien Noodles, Rice Vermicelli with Chicken and Potato, and Creamy Miso Mushroom Spaghetti. Cooking is an art and much would depend on our creativity. I have also  invented lots of new noodles recipes myself using my favorite pan mee. I like to add lots of vegetables, meat, and prawns to the noodles. To save time, I prepare my ingredients the night before and put them in the fridge. Recently, I have been baking lots of cakes and cookies. My favorite cakes / cookies include Eggless Chocolate Steam Cake, Banana Chocolate Chip Cake, Chocolate Semolina Cake, Eggless Chocolate Poke Cake, Chocolate Sponge Cake, Mango Cake, No Bake Chocolate Biscuit Cake, Chocolate Pound Cake, Chocolate Banana Steam Cake, Oreo Biscuits Cake, Peanut Cookies, and Chocolate Chip Cookies. (Do you know that a 1kg chocolate cake costs at least RM69 in Kuala Lumpur? But how much do the ingredients cost? If you bake it yourself, you can save a lot of money). I have been making biscuits and puddings too. Since I don't have the time to eat at home in the mornings, I bring my noodles, cakes. cookies, biscuits, and puddings to school where I can eat when I am free 

As for dinner, I will cook one or two dishes and eat without rice. Most of the time, I only cook one dish but I cook a lot because I don't eat rice. If it is a meat dish, I will eat it with lettuce and tomatoes. If I have the mood to cook two dishes, I will cook one meat dish and one vegetable dish. What do I normally cook for dinner? Steamed Soy & Ginger Fish, Steamed Fish with Walnuts, Crispy Fried Fish with Sweet Sour Sauce, Poached Fish with Peanuts, Stir-fried Fish with Mustard Cabbage, Stir-fried Chicken and Capsicums, Chicken with Corn and Cashews, Chicken and Pineapple, Creamy Herb Mushroom Chicken, Chicken with Almonds and Broccoli, Thai Chicken with Snow Peas, Stir-fried Chicken Broccoli Mushroom, Stir-fried Prawns with Vegetables and Oyster Sauce, Green Beans with Prawns, Prawns with Asparagus Tips, Mapo Tofu, Stir-fried Eggs with Vegetables, Braised Shiitake Mushrooms, Steamed Potatoes, Potato Curry with Tamarind, Braised Bean Curd and Vegetables, Spinach and Pumpkin, Chinese Garlic Broccoli, Spicy Cauliflower, Cabbage / Green Peas in Coconut Milk, Thai Eggplant Curry, Stir-fried Snake Beans and Cashews, and Bean Curd with Peanuts / Peas. These are just some of my favorite dishes. There are a lot more and the list is unending (Do you know that these dishes can cost you a fortune in the restaurants?). If I am on diet, I will eat salads. Some of my favorite salads are Vietnamese Salmon Salad, Avocado Corn Salad, Avocado Tuna Salad, Broccoli Cauliflower Salad, Creamy Broccoli Apple Salad, Chicken and Cucumber / Cabbage Salad, Red Cabbage Salad with Apple, and Hot and Sour Prawn Salad. I love good food but I suppose I am the only food connoisseur who seldom eats in restaurants. Why?

I am sure many of us still remember what happened nearly two years ago when the workers at Raj's Banana Leaf restaurant in Bangsar used dirty pothole water to wash dishes. Or perhaps Malaysians forgive and forget easily. Well, three months ago, a chef at a cafe was filmed using his fingers to taste-test a dish in the kitchen. On 2 June 2018, a video illustrating rats swarming food ingredients in a restaurant kitchen has surfaced on the internet. Did the restaurant owners learn a lesson after that? On 20 February 2020, three dirty restaurants full of rats were ordered to close for 14 days. However, seeing rats running around in the restaurant is nothing compared to eating rats! What about recycled food? What would you do if you find yourselves eating recycled food? Please read Beware mamak shops selling "recycled" curry and Restoran Mamak di Kulai Jaya Basuh Makanan Untuk Dimasak Semula dengan Kuah Baru (which means Mamak Restaurant in Kulai Jaya washed and re-cooked leftovers). Recently, a video entitled lebihan sisa makanan orang tak habis dicuci dicampur dimasak semula, kedai mamak (which means "mamak restaurant cooking recycled food from customers' plates") has gone viral and I find this video very disturbing. You can watch this video here. These are just some of the more recent dirty restaurant cases in Malaysia. You can always find more on the internet.

A crow infested outdoor kitchen of a mamak restaurant in Kuala Lumpur (Photo source: Miscellaneous Information Website). Luckily bird flu is not so common nowadays.

I thought that only the poorest people in the Philippines eat pagpag but it seems that Malaysians are also eating this Filipino delicacy in the restaurants. What is pagpag? Pagpag, in Tagalog, means leftover food from restaurants scavenged from dumps and garbage. The food is then washed, cooked and sold to the poor. It is okay if the customers choose to eat pagpag because they want to save money but serving them pagpag without their knowledge and charging exorbitant prices for the recycled food is really too much. It should be noted that eating pagpag is bad for health as it can lead to stunted growth in children, food poisoning, and diseases such as Hepatitis A, cholera, and typhoid.

Do Malaysians mind eating dirty foods? Well, they do not care about the things that they cannot see. Perhaps, they don't mind as long as they have a place to lepak (hang around). When they see a rat scurrying by, they will put their feet up and squeal but after a few minutes, they cannot remember the cute little rodent anymore. That is why the restaurant business is a lucrative business. Many mamak restaurants open as early as 5.30 a.m. and operate until midnight. Sometimes I do wonder why there are so many people hanging around at the eateries late at night when they are supposed to be at home, sleep early, and prepare for work the next day. Is this a healthy habit? Eating a late night dinner is bad for health as it can lead to poor digestion and other gastric issues because the body's metabolism slows down at night. But why do Malaysians love to lepak mamak (hang around in mamak restaurants) until late at night? Perhaps it's not just the food alone as it seems more likely that they are looking for a place to meet up with friends and chat. It is no wonder the eateries have become Covid-19 infection hotspots. The more they interact with each other and the longer the interaction, the higher the risk of Covid-19.

Since the coronavirus outbreak began, I have developed a phobia about restaurants. Why? According to the US health authorities, going to restaurants is much more dangerous than working in an office, shopping, or taking public transport. Restaurants are Covid-19 superspreaders because social distancing is almost impossible in the restaurants with the people sitting so close to each other without masks. Even before their food is ready, they have already taken off their masks and are busy chatting with each other. Once they start chatting, they tend to forget about social distancing. As though 4 people per small table are not enough, they have to combine the tables and chat in groups. Under such circumstances, a social distance of 1m is not possible - 0.5m or less is more likely. That is one reason why the Covid-19 cases are soaring. Each time I see people eating and chatting happily in the restaurants, I feel very worried about Covid-19. To stop restaurants from driving Covid-19 infections, indoor dining should be banned  and only takeaway food allowed not only during the Movement Control Order (MCO) but until the Covid-19 pandemic is over.

With 5,728 new Covid-19 cases today, perhaps it's time to prioritize home-cooked meals as it is the world's healthiest, safest, and most hygienic meals. Studies have indicated that those who eat home-cooked meals regularly tend to be happier and healthier than those who eat out. They also live longer. Eating home-cooked meals can also boost our immunity and help to fight against the Covid-19 pandemic. Those on a tight budget will agree that cooking is an important skill for saving money as it helps to cut food spending since restaurant foods are not cheap nowadays. But most of all, there is no need to worry about getting Covid-19 because home is the safest place on earth. With so many new covid cases emerging each day, let us do our part to protect ourselves from the pandemic. Stay safe!

You may also like to read Cutting Your Own Hair at Home is Easy, Fun, and More Hygienic - Stay Safe and How to Enjoy a Meaningful and Healthy Lifestyle at Home during the Coronavirus Pandemic. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

Migrants stuck in hopeless situation at EU border in Bosnia : who is to blame?

I've just read an article entitled Refugees stuck in hopeless situation at EU border in Bosnia and I am wondering what the Bangladeshis and Pakistanis are doing there. When did they become refugees? How do we define "refugees"? According to the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, a refugee is a person who flees to a foreign country or power to escape danger or prosecution. But what kind of danger or prosecution are they trying to escape from? As far as I know, they are only leaving their own countries to look for a better life in other countries. So I consulted the American Heritage Dictionary to get a better definition of this word. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a refugee is one who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppression, or religious persecution. The question is - are these people at the EU border in Bosnia fleeing from war, political oppression or religious persecution? If they are merely looking for jobs and better living conditions, then "migrants" is a better word for them.

Migrants from Africa, Asia, and the Middle East who are looking for better lives in the EU are stuck in Bosnia-Herzegovina after being pushed back by the Croatian police. It is now winter and they are freezing in the cold weather due to lack of facilities. When a fire broke out in the Lipa Camp, believed to have been started by the migrants themselves, their living conditions deteriorated further. Wrapping themselves in blankets and sleeping bags and surviving on meagre food parcels, their conditions are said to be alarming. A migrant from Pakistan, Kasim, said, "We are living like animals. Even animals are living better than us! If they do not help us, we will die." Who invited them to the EU border? Nobody but themselves. Why burn the camp when they need shelter and create problems for others? To rebuild the Lipa Camp, the EU has been kind enough to allocate an additional £3.5 million to Bosnia and Herzegovina so that these migrants would not be left without shelter during the winter.

To get to the EU border in Bosnia is not cheap as each of these migrants has to pay 7000 euros to the smugglers to get them there. It seems that human smuggling is in great demand today and the smugglers are really making big bucks out of this trade. But why take so much trouble to reach the Bosnia camps and "live like animals"? If the migrants can afford to pay 7000 euros to the smugglers, why not make good use of the money and start a business in their own countries? In this way, they can also contribute towards their countries' progress and economic growth. No, they won't die. All they have to do is to go back to their countries of origin and stop making trouble for the EU especially during the coronavirus pandemic when every country is having its own problems.

What will the EU do to help migrants stranded in Bosnia waiting to cross the border into Croatia? In actual fact, the EU has done a lot for the migrants already and it is unfair to say that they are not doing enough for these people. Despite these hard times, the EU has allocated around £85.5 million to Bosnia to help the migrants at the Bosnian camps even though they are not EU citizens. And £85.5 million is a lot of money to spend on the migrants at a time when the citizens of the EU countries are suffering because of the pandemic. To be fair, this significant amount of money should be paid by the migrants' countries of origin and NOT the EU. Why should the EU support these migrants? The EU taxpayers' money should be spent on the EU taxpayers and not migrants from other countries. 

It should be noted that the EU is not a dumping ground for refugees and migrants. They have their limits and the world cannot expect them to take in everyone who wishes to achieve their EU dream. Perhaps the EU should stop supporting the migrants and see what happens next. These migrants are smart people - they will flee immediately when there is no food and shelter so there is no need to worry about them. They won't die. If they cannot enter the EU, they will find a new target, perhaps the US or Canada this time. For years, the Bangladeshis and Pakistanis have been targeting Malaysia. Ever since Malaysia began to curb foreign workers and the influx of illegal immigrants, the EU has become their new target! That is why there are so many of them at the EU border in Bosnia now.

I am writing this article because I really feel sad for the EU countries as they are struggling with a surge of Covid-19 cases and the situation is getting worse. As of today, the number of confirmed covid cases in Germany increased by 18,678 to 2.04M and its death toll rose by 980 to 47,121. France's covid toll has passed 70,000 with the number of confirmed covid cases increased by 21,406 to 2.89M. Italy's toll has already passed 80,000 with the number of confirmed cases increased by 15,446 to 2.37M. As recession deepens, triggered by the coronavirus pandemic, the EU countries are being burdened with the migrants. How sad! With so many people dying, out of work, and homeless during this pandemic, the EU's priority should be their own citizens and not migrants from other countries who are taking advantage of their generosity. Perhaps it is time for countries like China, Korea, Japan, as well as the rich Gulf countries to share the burden of the global refugee / migrant crisis.

Should the large influx of migrants into the EU countries be encouraged? Throughout the years, the EU has been taking in lots of refugees and because of that, migrants who want better living conditions also take this opportunity to seek asylum in the more affluent EU countries. What will happen if the EU starts taking in all the migrants at its borders? Needless to say, this will certainly lead to a mass exodus of millions of migrants with their families to the EU. If one million migrants make it to the EU, another million will follow and this will continue indefinitely.  When this happens, the EU will have to deal with population explosion as these people are breeding at high speed. What will become of the EU following a mass exodus of the migrants? Can anyone imagine Paris turning into a Bangladesh City or Frankfurt turning into a Pakistan City? It is possible when there are too many migrants in the country (Please read Tourist icon in peril: “Truly Asia” Chinatown or Bangladesh town?).

With the exodus of migrants to the EU, crime is inevitable as it is impossible to do a background check on them. Further, they may not be telling the truth about themselves as they often lie about their names, ages, and countries of origin. If these migrants could behave like hooligans and burnt their camp at a time when they were freezing and needed shelter in order to pressure the EU to take them in, what is it that they dare not do? The destruction of the Moria Camp in Greece by fire which the migration minister of Greece believed "began with the asylum seekers" is just another example of how violent the migrants can turn out to be. So, is it safe to take them in? However, they finally got what they wanted when the prime minister of the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia, Armin Laschet, offered to take in 1000 refugees after the camp was destroyed. 

The Bangladeshis' fake passport business. In this photo, you can see fake passports from various countries (Photo source: Kementerian Dalam Negeri, KDN).

What can the migrants do to the EU? Since Malaysia is home to 1,000,000 Bangladeshis (as of 2018) and more than 100,000 Pakistanis, let me share some of the things that they have done to Malaysia. The Bangladeshis and Pakistanis are professionals when it comes to producing forged immigration documents such as fake passports and fake work permits. And they are doing a lucrative business here charging RM150 for each fake passport and RM300 for each fake work permit. They are also selling fake Covid-19 test results. Surely, they can make lots of money if they carry out this kind of business in the EU! When it comes to rape, the Bangladeshis and Pakistanis are certainly not exempted (Rape: Pakistani charged). Even children and the handicapped are not spared. Please read Three Pakistani men, Bangladeshi national charged with raping, sexually assaulting 11-year-old girl; Bangladeshi man detained on suspicion of raping handicapped girl; and Bangladeshi caught raping teen in cybercafe toilet. Sometimes, the victim is killed after being raped (Pakistanis detained over rape, murder in Malaysia). The same applies to murder as it is as popular as rape. Please read 12 Bangladeshi men held for murder at vegetable farm; Bangladeshi wanted over Nepali roommate murder; and Pakistani charged with killing US pastor in Malaysia. It is not uncommon for the Bangladeshis to kill their own people over trifles (Please read Killed over kuih: Bangladeshi trader charged with murder and Bangladeshi sent to gallows over housemate's murder). What is even worse is that after entering the country illegally, they still have the guts to kill, dismember the corpse and dispose it (Bangladeshis rounded up over grisly murder charged with illegal entry). And of course kidnapping cannot be omitted since it is a lucrative business. Please read Malaysian Police Raid Targets Bangladeshi Kidnapping Ring; Malaysia busts group of Pakistani kidnappers; Five Pakistanis charged with kidnapping; and Five Pakistanis charged with kidnapping pensioner, one claims trial to sodomy. Do they come to Malaysia to work / study or sell drugs? Please read Bangladeshi student nabbed for peddling ganja at private university; Police arrest Bangladeshi man on New Year's Eve for allegedly trafficking drugs; Pakistani drug mule nabbed with 19 packets of heroin in stomach; 22 Pakistanis arrested in Malaysia drug raid and Malaysia nabs two Pakistanis with heroin worth $36M. OMG! The list is unending. And one more thing - just google "Bangla suka kacau bini orang" which means "Bangladeshis like to disturb people's wives" and you will find many articles, videos, and even Facebooks about this issue (in Malay). Please click here to watch the video of a Bangladeshi man being beaten up for disturbing somebody's wife (You may also like to read 'I will kill you, I'm from Afghanistan!').

In Sweden, the murder rate has quadrupled due to migration. It has the worst rape conviction record in Europe and the number of rapes has also quadrupled in the past 20 years. And what's more, most of the country's convicted rapists are foreign-born. In Austria, there was a staggering 133% increase in the number of sexual assaults committed by migrants in 2016 and most of the suspects were from Afghanistan. In 2017, there had been 447 killings and murders by asylum seekers and refugees in Germany. Last year, there was an alarming increase of rape cases in Berlin and nearly half of the suspects were migrants. In Italy, the Nigerian mafia are smuggling drugs and trafficking women, deploying them as prostitutes on the streets of Italy. According to Finland's leading newspaper, Helsingin Sanomat, "Finland is one of the least safe countries in Europe for women." Reported cases of rape committed by immigrants, mostly from the Middle East and Northern Africa, are about eight times higher than that of native Finnish people. 

Many of us can never forget what happened in Cologne, Germany, during the 2015-2016 New Year's Eve Celebration. While everyone was waiting for the New Year to start, more than 1200 women were sexually assaulted, raped, and mobbed by North African and Arab asylum seekers and illegal immigrants. 3% of these perpetrators were unaccompanied refugee minors. Even a policewoman was sexually assaulted. These Arab and North African young men surrounded the women, groped their breasts and buttocks, put their hands in their pants or underneath their skirts, introduced their fingers in vaginas, went through handbags, robbed, molested and raped them. They also harassed passers-by and went around stealing mobiles phones, jewelry, and wallets. According to Holger Munch, president of the German Federal Crime Police Office, "There is a connection between the emergence of this phenomenon  and the rapid migration in 2015." The shocking truth was - half of the New Year's Eve perpetrators identified had arrived in Germany in 2015. Is that the way refugees and migrants repay their host countries? In Frankfurt last July, groups of young men were seen attacking the police and the majority of these rioters were immigrants. 

How much can we trust the migrants? Are they telling the truth about their backgrounds or merely lying through their teeth to get asylum status and gain access to the benefits that come with it? In October 2016, Hussein Khavari, who claimed to have come from Afghanistan, raped, strangled, and drowned a 19-year-old medical student from Freiburg, Maria L. Ladenburger. And he knew that she was alive when he drowned her in the Dreisam River. Hussein Khavari, who arrived in Germany without identification documents, had earlier been convicted of attempted murder in Greece for robbing a woman and pushing her off a cliff. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison but was released after 18 months on parole on 31 October 2015 due to overcrowding in the prisons. He fled to Germany via Austria the following month and since he claimed that he was 17, he was taken in as an unaccompanied minor and was placed with a foster family. However, evidence that has emerged during his rape and murder trial in Germany has shown that he is actually from Iran and could be more than 30 years old. Each time I watch videos about migrants at the EU border in Bosnia, I couldn't help wondering how many of them are walking in the footsteps of Hussein Khavari. Given the fact that accepting refugees and migrants can lead to insecurity, crime, and decadence, the EU should really tighten its border controls (To find out more about what the migrants have done in Europe, please read Migrants and Crime in Europe in the Twenty-First Century).

Those who want to work or study in the EU should enter the EU legally instead of trying to sneak across the borders. According to 25-year-old Raheel Zafar, a migrant from Karachi, Pakistan, he has attempted to walk from Bosnia to Croatia six times but was stopped, beaten, and robbed by the Croatian police at the border each time. Can he blame the Croatian police for that? Every country has the right to defend its borders. Even North Korea has issued shoot-to-kill orders at the Chinese border to prevent the transmission of the coronavirus. Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, may countries have imposed entry bans for travelers and his act of sneaking into the EU clearly shows how selfish he is. Who knows, he might be carrying the new strain of Covid-19 and this could endanger the lives of the EU citizens.  Whatever the situation may be, it is illegal to enter Croatia without permission and Zafar should be thankful that the Croatian police did not shoot-to-kill. Although he couldn't see any future in Pakistan, this is not an excuse for him to cross the border into Croatia illegally. Ashfaq Ahmed, from Kashmir, Pakistan, who dreams of studying medicine in Germany, said that they are not animals and the Lipa Camp is no place to live. Well, what he should do is to go back to Pakistan and apply for medical university in Germany. If his application is approved, he can enter Germany legally and there is no need for him to live in the Lipa Camp. Can anyone imagine what will happen if everyone who wants to study medicine in Germany sneaks into Croatia with the intention to claim asylum in Germany? 

The EU countries may be very generous but taking in all the migrants at its borders is not the solution to the migrant crisis as more and more will be flocking to these countries. In the end, the EU citizens will suffer the adverse consequences brought to them by the migrants. Putting pressure on the EU to take in migrants is therefore a great injustice especially at a time when Europe is plunged into a deep covid recession. The best solution is for  the migrants' countries of origin to take responsibility for them instead of kicking the ball to the EU. If there are problems in the migrants' countries, then these problems should be solved within the country so that the people can have better lives instead of victimizing the EU. 

Illegal border crossings should not be encouraged as migrants can create a lot of problems for their host countries. In countries with lots of migrants, rising crime rates are inevitable. Life may also be more difficult for the local citizens as they have to compete with the migrants for food, water, shelter, and jobs. During the coronavirus pandemic, migrants bring viral infections with them thus increasing the risk of Covid-19 transmission. For instance, the Filipinos and Indonesians sneaking into Sabah during the coronavirus pandemic have caused a Covid-19 spike in Malaysia from 1 case on 1 July 2020 to 4,029 cases on 16 January 2021 (Please read ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS A HUGE THREAT TO MALAYSIA'S CORONAVIRUS WAR). 

What can be done to stop illegal border crossing? In Singapore, the punishment for illegal immigration are a prison sentence of up to 6 months and not less than 3 strokes of the cane or a fine of not more than $6000 if the perpetrator cannot be caned. That is why no one dares to overstay their permitted time in Singapore. If only the EU could emulate Singapore, they would have no more problems!  

Thanks for reading. To view the content page of this blog, please click here. You may also like to read: 

• Should the large influx of migrants into the EU countries be encouraged? 
• EUROPE AND THE MIGRANT RAPE CRISIS; 
• Migrants and Crime in Europe in the Twenty-First Century 
• Justice for Denmark: The Other Side of the Deportation Story
• How to Get Rid of Europe's Migrant Crime Zones
  
• Matteo Salvini: Is he a hero or a villain?
  
• White lives matter, 'even the ones being raped, stabbed and murdered'
  
• Viktor Orbán: The Hero of Europe
  
• ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS A HUGE THREAT TO MALAYSIA'S CORONAVIRUS WAR 
• Should the illegal entry of the Rohingyas into Malaysia be encouraged?  
• The Rohingya Issue: Justice for Malaysia and Bangladesh. 

References:

1.  Refugees stuck in hopeless situation at EU border in Bosnia. dw.com.

2.  'We will die': Hundreds of refugees freezing in Bosnia Camp. Al Jazeera.

3.  EU allocates additional £3.5m for refugees and migrants in Bosnia. Europost.

4.  EU officials call for humane conditions for migrants at Bosnian camps. dw.com.

5.  A refugee crisis  brews in Bosnia's bitter winter. Al Jazeera.

6.  2000 men 'sexually assaulted 1200 women' at Cologne New Year's Eve Party. Independent.

7.  Afghan migrant convicted of killing German medical student. The Seattle Times.

8.  Germany: Frankfurt reaches a 'new level of violence' as migrants riot, hurl stones at police. Remix.

How to Leave the Past Behind You and Move Forward

Every cloud has a silver lining

Time really flies and before I know it, today is already the last day of the year 2020. Many things have happened this year and the saddest thing is, of course, the coronavirus pandemic which has killed 1,803,473 people (as of 30 December 2020) and deprived countless people of their regular income. 2020 is a year of struggles, uncertainty, suffering, and death. Let us pray and hope that the vaccines can do something to save the human race in the coming year so that life can return to normal again for everyone. Irrespective of whether something good or bad has happened this year, life is a journey that must be traveled. "Life moves on and so should we" (Spencer Johnson). Although it is not easy to start a new life during these hard times, leaving the past in the past and moving forward with courage and determination is still the best choice that one could make in the coming New Year. In this article, I would like to share an inspirational poem with my readers entitled Letting Go by an unknown author.

Letting Go

To let go doesn't mean 

to stop caring;

It means I can't do it 

for someone else.

To let go is 

not to cut myself off...

It's the realization that 

I can't control another...

To let go is not to enable,

but to allow learning 

from natural consequences.

To let go is 

to admit powerlessness,

which means the outcome 

is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try 

and change or blame another,

I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, 

but to care about

To let go is not to fix, 

but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,

but to allow another 

to be a human being.

To let go is 

not to be in the middle

arranging all the outcomes,

but to allow others 

to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is 

not to be protective,

It is to permit 

another to face reality.

To let go is 

not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is 

not to nag, scold, or argue,

but to search out 

my own shortcomings

 and correct them.

To let go is 

not to adjust everything 

to my desires,

but to take each day as it comes

and cherish the moment.

To let go is not to criticize 

and regulate anyone,

but to try to become 

what I dream I can be.

To let go is 

not to regret the past,

but to grow and 

live for the future.

To let go is 

to fear less 

and to love more.

                         - Author Unknown

Let us learn from natural consequences, correct our shortcomings, face reality, accept the present, live each day as it comes, cherish every moment of it, and strive to become what we dream we can be. Do not regret the past but grow and live for the future. Below are 5 real life stories of what it means to put the past behind and move forward. The names of the protagonists have been changed and the stories have been modified slightly to conceal their real identities. 

Case 1: Taking Refuge in the Past to Escape the Present and the Future Makes Life More Miserable

One of my friends, Patricia, who grew up during the 1970s, is still keeping the old photos of Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, John Denver, Charlie Chin, Chin Han, and Alan Tang. She also has an excellent collection of the songs and movies of that era. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that but the problem with her is she seems to be living in the past and is making use of these things to bring her back to the past. In other words, she seems to be so obsessed with the things of the past that she does not have much interest in the things of the present. Even some of TVB's best dramas of the year such as The Dripping Sauce, Forensic Heroes IV, The Exorcist's Second Meter, On-lie Game, Flying Tigers II and Al Cappuccino do not appeal to her. And she always says that the songs of today are nothing compared to those of the 1970s.

When I asked her why the past is so important to her, she said that there was a certain kind of atmosphere in the past that she cannot find today. The weather, the people, her life, feelings and environment are all so different now and she really yearns for those good old days when the world was a much better place. Sometimes she would go back to the schools that she formerly attended and the places that she used to go during her school days to relive her past experiences. But what I don't understand is how someone who grew up in poverty could miss her childhood days so much? Why is she taking refuge in the past when she is doing quite well now? The answer probably lies in the fact that she misses the people who were so dear to her like her parents and grandparents as they could be the only ones who have ever cared for her but they are all dead now. Now that she has grown older, her life is certainly different from her childhood experiences since her work environment and school environment are altogether two different things. This is probably what she meant when she said that the atmosphere and environment are so different today. Is it because she is afraid to live in the present? Is it because she is worried about the future? Or is it because of loneliness? Would she be happier if she is married as she doesn't seem to be very happy now? "The past is a closed door" (Margaret Atwood) and instead of hiding behind a closed door, perhaps she should live fully in the present and have faith in the future. Holding on to the past would only prevent her from experiencing happiness in the present moment. "In the process of letting go, she will lose many things from the past, but she will find herself" (Deepak Chopra).

When one door closes, another opens;

but we often look so long and so regretfully

upon the closed door that we do not see

the one which has opened for us.

                            - Alexander Graham Bell

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life" (Unknown). Letting go of the things and people that we never want to leave behind does not mean forgetting them. Yesterday's beautiful moments are today's beautiful memories. Instead of dwelling in the past, I dare say that a better option for Patricia is to turn those good old days into beautiful memories. Life changes and everything changes with it. Comparing the past with the present cannot help her to build a better life - moving forward is still the best thing to do. "A very wise man once told me that you can't look back - you just have to put the past behind you, and find something better in your future" (Jodi Picoult). How right he is! That is exactly what Patricia should do. I am sure that once she finds something better, she will not be so obsessed with the past anymore. Her life actually isn't that bad as she is financially stable. All she needs to do is to look at the world from a different perspective, accept the present, have faith in the future, and be thankful for what she has. The past is only a memory and being obsessed with it does not lead her anywhere. The present is reality and she has to face it whether she likes it or not. And the future, well, it is in her hands as she is the author of her own story! And I sincerely hope that Patircia will write a beautiful story about her life in the near future.

Case 2: Feeling Bitter Years After a Divorce Can Ruin Your Life

Nancy has been divorced for more than ten years and her children are already attending college. But after so many years, she cannot stop hating her ex-husband as she still feels cheated by him and is very bitter, angry, hurt, depressed, and spiteful about what happened. It was a high conflict divorce and she still finds that she cannot talk to him nicely face to face - they just cannot be friends. She still yearns for the beautiful memories of the marriage life she used to have and has been hunting for a man who can give her back what she has lost. This is a very dangerous thing to do particularly when she is turning to online dating as she may end up being a victim of love scams. However, after years of hunting men, she is still single and that makes her even more depressed and miserable. Whenever she talks about her husband, she will start cursing him and is always telling bad things about him in front of their children. Because she cannot put the past behind her, she has been stuck in the pain of a bad divorce all these years. The choice is hers, of course, as she is the one who decides her path.

Perhaps Nancy should learn to forgive since hating someone is so painful and it only hurts her even more. In learning to forgive, she can break herself free from the emotional pain of divorce and move forward. Moving forward does not mean that she has to go men hunting - maybe she should pay more attention to her children and be a good mother. Instead of losing her temper and scolding her children for nothing because she is always moody and grouchy, she should control her bad moods and emotional outbursts. There is nothing wrong looking for new love but going all the way out to hunt for men is a little bit too much as this kind of behavior can hurt her children. Instead of hunting for men, a better option for her is to become more active in her temple or maybe she can join the YMCA or do some kind of social work and, who knows, she may bump into a good man accidentally. She can also take the opportunity to improve herself and discover her true potentials instead of staring at the ceiling when there is nothing to do as this would only make her feel empty. 

Today expect something good to happen to

you no matter what occurred yesterday.

Realize the past no longer holds you captive.

It can only continue to hurt you if you hold

on to it. Let the past go. A simply

abundant world awaits.

                                        - Sarah Breathnach

If Nancy is a wise woman, she should live to prove to her ex-husband that her life is better without him instead of showing him that she is in bad shape without him. Holding on to old grudges all the time and plotting to win him back are meaningless when she sees no chance as it hurts her even more. She should keep and open mind, let go and move on instead of attaching herself to this situation. Whether she is happy or sad, life goes on, so why not choose to be happy? Life would be more meaningful if she focuses on the things that she can change instead of what has already happened. She cannot win her husband back but she can take another direction in life and create a better and happier future for herself and live with dignity and great expectations. "Life moves forward. The old leaves wither, die and fall away, and the new growth extends forward into the light" (Bryant McGill).

Case 3:  Lonely Elderly Woman Feels She Has Nothing to Live For

One of my mom's best friends, Margarita, used to have a loving husband and two lovely children. During her younger days, many of her friends were jealous of her because of her good fortune. But now, all those beautiful moments of her life are no more. After her husband died and her children got married, she is left alone in a bungalow. Since her daughter is in Australia, she seldom gets to see her and as she cannot get along with her daughter-in-law, she can only see her son when he visits her during the festive seasons. The last time I visited her, she was weeping because she was very sad and lonely. Her daughter-in-law does not like her husband and children to visit her and has the habit of beating up the children each time after they visit their grandmother. Today, her grandchildren treat her like a complete stranger because they seldom get the chance to meet her.

Margarita said that she was only waiting for death every day because she had nothing to live for. She weeps and mourns for the past because she cannot let go of those good old days when she had everything. Gone are the days when her husband always doted on her foolishly like a slave for he is dead now. Gone are the days when her son always obeyed her because he has married a queen control and dare not disobey his wife. Gone are the days when her daughter was very close to her because she is now married and is living with her family in another country. But does it mean that Margarita has nothing to live for right now? She has a lot of money and a big house - these are great blessings as she does not have to worry about her livelihood. At her age, she is considered healthy as she can still move around. Instead of complaining, perhaps she ought to feel grateful as there are many jobless and homeless people in this world who do not know where their next meal is coming from. The sad truth is, most women are dependent on their husband and children for happiness and once the people who are dearest to them are no longer with them, they don't know what to do. 

Incredible change happens in your life

when you decide to take control of what

you do have power over instead of

craving control over what you don't.

                                      - Steve Maraboli

Being old and alone does not mean that there is nothing to live for. Loneliness and sadness should not be a burden to life as one grows older. Margarita can still live a happy and meaningful life if she could change her mindset and attitude. Change is inevitable in life and she has to adapt to this change whether she wants it or not or she will be consumed by it. Since she cannot bring her husband back to life, force her son to dump his wife or her daughter to come home, the only thing she can do is to accept her present life. After all, she wasn't a good daughter-in-law herself and it is probably not wrong to say that she should accept it as her karma. Somewhere in her past she also had trouble getting along with her mother-in-law.

It is not difficult to find happiness alone especially for rich old ladies like Margarita as much would depend on whether she wants to create happiness for herself or not. Instead of weeping and mourning for the past or cursing her daughter-in-law, she can keep herself busy by watching TV, reading, going for a walk in the park, or taking a trip to another city or country. Or perhaps she can join tai chi classes, learn a new language, or play a musical instrument. As she participates in these activities, she also gets the chance to meet people her own age and make new friends. When she sees that her friends are also having problems with their "queen control daughter-in-laws" she may not feel so bitter anymore knowing that she is not suffering alone. As they share stories of their "queen control daughter-in-laws" with each other, they will feel a weight lifted from their shoulders and thus relieve themselves of this burden.  It is always never too late to make new friends, learn new things and make good changes in life. As she keeps herself occupied, she will begin to feel that she has a lot of things to look forward to. Needless to say, living a happy and fulfilling life would also mean that she can live longer.

Case 4: The Rape Victims And Their Different Pathways

Caryn and Yuki were colleagues. Both were beautiful young ladies and they were doing very well at work. However, it was how they lived their lives after they were raped which was the deciding factor of their fate. After Caryn was raped twice by people she knew, her mental condition became very unstable as she could not recover from her unwanted sexual encounters. Because of her mood swings, her boyfriend could not tolerate her and left. She lost her job and had to live on charity. She even put on a lot of weight and by the time she was in her 40s, she had a full head of gray hair. Not long after that, she was found dead in her home but police found no evidence of foul play. It seemed that she died naturally just like that. How sad! May her soul rest in eternal peace. Yes, she is now at peace and enjoying herself in heaven.

Caryn, however, was not as unlucky as Yuki even though she was gang raped. She was not ashamed of what happened to her and was ready to face the consequences. She did not brood over her unwanted sexual encounter but left it in the past as she moved forward. She continued to do very well at work and has become a successful businesswoman today. Still beautiful, fit, and youthful today, she is now happily married to her boyfriend of twenty years. I have always admired Caryn because she is the kind of woman who does not give up easily and always puts in a lot of effort to strive for success. She is ambitious, resolute, determined, adamant, and persistent.

Let go, Why do you cling to pain? There

is nothing you can do about the wrongs

of yesterday. It is not yours to judge.

Why hold on to the very thing which

keeps you from hope and love?

                                     - Leo Buscaglia

The difference between Caryn and Yuki is - Caryn could leave the past behind and move forward whilst Yuki could not do so. Yuki's mind focused on her negative experiences in the past and that was why her life was going downhill. Dwelling on her painful memories, she created unnecessary pain and suffering for herself thus giving herself a lot of stress and tension. If only she knows how to replace her painful memories with positive and happy thoughts, her life would be different. Caryn, on the other hand, focuses on living in the present as she loves her life and her job. Although there were some busy bodies who kept discouraging her and reminding her of the past, they failed to stop her from moving forward because she has chosen not to obsess herself with negative thoughts, worries, and fears. Her detachment from the past has therefore made way for a new life, happiness and love. And success comes to her one after another as she continues to dream and work hard for the future. She has clearly proven that although she cannot change the past, she can change the future. 

Conclusion

Everyone deserves a happy and fulfilling life. Holding on to the past and refusing to let go would mean that the door to a new life and new opportunities would remain shut. Those who cannot put the past in the past will never be able to enjoy their present because they cannot move forward. To be happy, one has to accept the present circumstances and situation and have faith in the future. For those who are going through a difficult phase of life, do not despair as it will be over before you know it. Every cloud has a silver lining. When life takes someone or something from you, someone or something better will come your way if only you can let go. You will see light at the end of the tunnel so don't lose hope in the midst of despair. But first you have to conquer the darkness with complete faith. Happy New Year 2021!

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read SALUTATION TO THE DAWN, Footprints in the Sand, Is Marriage Really Necessary and Important in Today's World? and How Abraham Lincoln Inspired Me to Pursue My Ph.D.? To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

The Beautiful Hands of a Priest (Father Anthony Ho)

Fr. Anthony Ho Ting Yiu

When I first came across Father Anthony Ho's blog more than 11 years ago, I found it very unique and interesting and I have been following him on his blog ever since. What is so special about his blog? It is special because it is the blog of a Catholic priest who values his vocation and proudly shares his priestly life with the world. Through his blog, I can find the life of Christ - a life of sacrifice and service that can make a difference in others' lives. Every article in it is written deep from his heart - the heart of a priest who wants to tell the whole how proud he is to be on call all the time to serve the faithful from their cradles to their graves. I don't deny the fact that I envy him because he is living the kind of life that I would love to live but I can't as I am a woman. At the same time, I have been observing him and time really flies - before I realize it, more than a decade has passed. 11 years from then, Father Anthony Ho is still proudly serving God and His people wholeheartedly and although I still envy him, I feel that I must write something about him. What a beautiful experience to be called to a life of holiness and to walk in the footsteps of Christ - nothing can be more meaningful than that. In a way, Father Anthony Ho's life also reminds me of a beautiful poem entitled "The Beautiful Hands of a Priest" written by an unknown author:

The Beautiful Hands of a Priest

We need them in life's early morning,
we need them again at its close;

We need their warm clasp of true friendship,

we seek them while tasting life's woes.

At the altar each day we behold them,

and the hands of a king on his throne

are not equal to them in their greatness;

their dignity stands alone.

And when we are tempted and wander

to pathways of shame and sin,

It's the hand of a priest that will absolve us,

not once but again and again.

And when we are taking life's partner,

other hands may prepare us a feast,

But the hands that will bless and unite us,

are the beautiful hands of a priest.

God bless them and keep them all holy

for the host which their fingers caress,

What can a poor sinner do better than

to ask him to guide thee and bless?

When the hour of death comes upon us,

may our courage and strength be increased.

To see, raised above us in blessing

the beautiful hands of a priest!

Around 1963, Father Crowley of Dunsallagh gave the words of this poem to Tom Linehan and the Clare singer put a tune to it and recorded it in a song. This poem clearly tells us how important our priests are in our lives because we need them from the moment we come into this world until the hour we breathe our last. In today's world, it is not easy to find single, celibate, and devout men who can live the life of Christ and who don't mind working for long hours with low pay to serve God's people. If we can come across one, then he is indeed a great blessing from God. In this article, I would like to share the amazing and wonderful life of a Catholic priest, Father Anthony Ho.

Father Anthony Ho is a Chinese priest of the Archdiocese of Vancouver. His father grew up in Hong Kong and his mother grew up in Macau. They attended Catholic schools and that was one reason why they became Catholics. Father Anthony Ho was born in Hong Kong in 1976 where he attended a Catholic high school run by the Salesians of Don Bosco and that was when he began to consider a vocation to the priesthood. The Salesians of Don Bosco, also known as the Society of Saint Francis de Sales, was founded in 1859 by John Bosco, an Italian priest Saint, and named after the a 17th Century bishop of Geneva, Saint Francis de Sales. With the motto "Da mihi Animas caetera tolle" which means "Give me souls, take away the rest", the society was initially intended to help poor children during the Industrial Revolution. 

Father Anthony Ho's ordination

Father Anthony Ho and his parents and younger sister moved to Canada in 1993. He served as a Catechism teacher and prayer group leader before he attended the British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT), a polytechnic in Burnaby, where he studied Computer System Technology. In 1998, he entered the Seminary of Christ the King, a beautiful and healthy community to prepare for priesthood, in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. He was ordained a priest on 30 May 2006 at St. Anthony's Parish in Vancouver. His mother died of cancer in 2001 while he was studying to become a priest. Before she passed away, she promised him that the first thing she would do when she entered heaven was to pray that he would become a good priest. 

When asked why he has chosen the Catholic Priesthood, Father Anthony Ho said that he loved the lives of the saints and their writings. His involvement in various religious activities such as altar serving and the Legion of Mary also had  a role to play in helping him to discern his vocation. In a way, he was also attracted to the Catholic priesthood through his devotion to the Blessed Sacrament and to Our Lady.

Father Anthony Ho was an assistant pastor at 3 different parishes for 6 years before he became a pastor. He was a pastor in another parish for 5 years before he was assigned to St. John the Apostle Parish in Vancouver. It is now his 4th year at his current parish. What kind of priest is he? After observing him more than 11 years, my conclusion is, he is the kind of priest who loves his vocation and pours his heart into his parish ministry every moment of his life. In other words, he is not a priest for himself but gives himself  fully and completely to lead and serve us. According to him, helping people to pray and teaching them about faith is a very meaningful thing to do. He enjoys teaching the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) and is especially happy whenever he is preparing to welcome new members into the Catholic Church. As "Father" to everyone, he strongly believes that the duties of a priest is not only to look after the spiritual needs of the faithful but also to reach out to non-Catholics.

The life of a priest is not a bed of roses as there are always lots of things to do in the parish because he is needed all the time by everyone and everywhere. Father Anthony Ho is certainly not an OP (ordinary person) because his hands are always full. He is the one who started the Chinese Mass Community in his current parish. He is also leading several prayer groups and Bible study groups in English and Cantonese. His prayer groups are not just ordinary prayer groups as these are intended to promote the messages of the Divine Mercy and Our Lady of Fatima. And please do not assume that the RCIA is easy to teach as it has to be taught in 3 different languages - English, Cantonese, and Mandarin. As though these are not enough, he is also writing a weekly article for The B.C. Catholic Multimedia Catholic News and giving a short weekly radio talk show on the Sunday Gospel in Cantonese. Wow! Where does he find the time to so so many things? He is truly a most extraordinary man called to an extraordinary ministry!

Father Anthony Ho is not the kind of priest who would waste his time looking for a girlfriend and pestering the Popes to allow him to get married. Where is he going to find the time for that? He is the kind of priest who believes in perfect chastity in priestly celibacy as it enables him to love God and Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament with an undivided heart. According to him, "priestly celibacy is a source of fruitfulness for spiritual fatherhood and that the focus of priests should be on God and souls." How right he is! As what St. John Vianney says, a priest is an alter Christus and he should do what Jesus did. And doing the works of Jesus means that his top priority should be the salvation of souls and not his sex scandal. The unmarried man focuses his life on the Lord's affairs and is concerned with serving the Lord but the married man focuses on the world demands and is concerned with pleasing his wife (1 Corinthians 7:32-33). Sad to say, there are many people who want to become priests but do not understand the role and importance of priestly celibacy. Perhaps they should turn to Father Anthony Ho for advice.

Father Anthony Ho is of the opinion that: "Developing a deep friendship with Jesus in the Holy Eucharist and with Our Lady is the source of happiness and strength for priests. By being faithful to our daily prayer and daily duty, we grow in holiness and bring many blessings to the people." Yes, Jesus and Mary are the source of happiness and strength for priests - not sex, lakefront homes, private jets, luxury cars, and pop music. What the faithful would love to see is a true priest who grows in holiness as he brings them closer to God - not a priest who quits the Catholic Church to get married or embezzles Church money for his personal use.

Father Anthony Ho is a man taken from among men to serve God's people and to lead them to union with God. As a shepherd tends to his scattered flock when he is with them, so I will tend my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they have been scattered when it was cloudy and dark (Ezekiel 34:12). Priests must be joyful and stubborn and do not mind taking risks to seek out those who are most distant from God just as what Jesus has done (Pope Francis). And that is why Father Anthony Ho has devoted himself entirely to his special mission as a priest. The word "entirely" here means "all he has" and not just 30% or 40% because his focus is only on God and souls. 

In this final paragraph, I would like to share a piece of Father Anthony's invaluable advice with the faithful: "A good prayer life and knowedge of the Catholic faith are very fundamental to our spiritual life. Friendship can only be deepened by spending time together and by communicating. So, we must spend time with Christ and communicate with Him each day. Daily prayer is like food and drink for our soul. We need prayer to deepen our friendship with Christ."  That is why he is always busy helping us to deepen our faith and our relationship with Jesus for the salvation of our souls. If only we can have more priests like him, the world would be a much better place for everyone. To those who wish to join the Catholic priesthood, why not seek some invaluable advice from Father Anthony Ho? I am sure you will be inspired by him and become good priests too. Who knows, you may one day change many lives by God's grace!

You may also like to read FATHER OC LIM - OUR PRIEST LAWYER, Cardinal Robert Sarah: The Christian Priesthood Is in Mortal Danger, WHY POPE BENEDICT XVI CLARIFIES, REAFFIRMS, REINFORCES AND DEFENDS CELIBACY? and From the Depths of Our Hearts: Priesthood, Celibacy, and the Crisis of the Catholic Church. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.