HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR SPOUSE IS CHEATING ON YOU?

Do you know that every line on our palms tells a story? Merely by looking at these lines on our palms, one who has knowledge of palmistry can interpret the signs and symbols that are indelibly engraved on our palms. For instance, if there is a break in the line of life but the two fragments overlay each other, the subject will suffer from a very severe illness but he will recover. The shorter the line of life, the shorter the life. If the line terminates abruptly with a black dot at the end, the subject will have a violent death or die in an accident.

Now to answer the questions that some of my readers asked me regarding palmistry. Many of them believe that palmistry is superstition and that Catholics shouldn't believe in that. To me, palmistry is a science which can forecast the future. Knowing the future helps us to plan our lives wisely so that we can avoid misfortune. Supposing the subject knows that he will suffer from a grave illness at a certain age, he can pay more attention to his health and diet to prevent or lessen the severity of his illness. The lines on our palms are inborn and they have nothing to do with any higher spiritual power. Knowing ourselves and our lives will ensure that we do not live blindly. If we know that something bad is going to happen to us, we will try our best to prevent it and this is what palmistry is all about. Tonight, I will discuss about the line of marriage and how it can help us to avoid a painful relationship.

Everyone wants a blissful marriage and live happily ever after. It is the dream of every woman to marry a loving husband, raise their kids together, and grow old together. This is the ideal marriage but how many couples actually live happily ever after? Sad to say, "happily ever after" doesn't happen so easily in today' society as more and more marriages are coming to a sudden and painful end. More and more people are getting divorced nowadays because of conflict, incompatibility, domestic violence and the worst of all is, of course, third party interference. Many marriages break down not because the husband is flirtatious but because the wife has no luck in her love life as it is fated that her husband will leave her for another woman . Men naturally prefer younger women because they are more attractive - this is human nature. If a young and beautiful woman falls in love with a middle-aged man who is feeling bored and unhappy, it is difficult for him to reject this wonderful offer especially if he has been married for many years and feels that there is no more life in the marriage (Please read Will your husband divorce you and marry his lover?).

I remember one of my students telling me about her parents' divorce a few years back. Her grandmother used to say that her father even knelt down in front of her mother to beg her to marry him. But after 16 years, the marriage has gone stale because her father has fallen in love with another woman who is much younger than her mother. Her mother said that she was willing to "bermadu" (bermadu is a malay word meaning sharing her husband with another woman as muslims can take four wives) but her husband's new love said "no" and forced him to divorce his wife. What happened to the love that he had for her sixteen years ago? After the divorce, he gives her RM400 a month to support their three children which is not even enough to pay rent for the flat they are staying in but that is the only thing he can do for them after the divorce.

Recently, I read about a woman (in her fifties) who jumped from the windowsill and died because her husband threatened to divorce her. Why did he want to divorce his wife so suddenly? He has found a young new lover. According to their daughter, her father was sitting at the computer table and should be able to see what her mother was doing. So, he saw her sitting on the windowsill but why didn't he do anything to stop her? Or was it because he was hoping that she would end her life so that he could marry his new love? Ladies, think of it! Is it worth dying for a man who does not love you anymore? No doubt, women need love. But I honestly feel that it is better to become a nun than to die for a man who is not worth dying for.

There is a time set apart in one's life to marry or not to marry, to separate or divorce, to remarry or redivorce. Whatever will be, will be. If the marriage is fated to break down, it will break down. The whole idea about fate and destiny is also portrayed in the Bible where the hands of God preordaining the events in human history can be seen from Genesis to Revelation. In Luke 24:44 Jesus says, "everything written about me in the law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled." Thus we can see that even Jesus was not given much free will or choice during his earthly life as His life was predetermined by God. That was the reason why I learnt palmistry - to uncover the secrets in my destiny. Since the palm lines can reveal the whole story of our lives, studying these lines can lead to accurate predictions of the future.

How do you know if your marriage would last? How do you know if your husband is having an affair with another woman or whether there is third party interference in your marriage? Many women prefer to ignore this issue in the hope that their husbands would not cheat on them. However, it is always wiser for them not to be so naive as to believe that everything will be all right until it is too late to save the marriage. I remember telling one of my friends about her husband's activities with a younger woman but she refused to believe me until it was too late. The problem with her was she did not want to listen to any negative things about her husband. She also kept finding excuses for herself saying that the girl I saw could be her husband's colleague or cousin sister and she believed that her husband would not betray her. Or was she trying to escape reality because she feared losing him? Even during the early days of her marriage, I have already warned her to be extra careful with her husband because she has a troubled marriage line. But she said she didn't believe in palmistry and she had confidence in her husband since marriage is based on trust. Her husband finally divorced her and she is now single again - a single mother with three young children to support. To add salt to injury, her husband does even not bother to visit the children and always falls behind on alimony payments. What is she doing now? Trying to get a new husband but mother luck is never on her side as she continues to suffer from one broken relationship after another. I have already told her not to make a fool of herself but she does not listen to me and is still hoping to find someone. It's really sad to see her heart broken again and again as she wanders helplessly seeking men. When will she ever understand that life is not just about marriage?

Why did her husband divorce her? She is a good wife and mother. She is not ugly. She is a good cook. She doesn't like to nag at her husband. She is an obedient wife. She is the kind of woman who believes that her husband and children are her entire world. Sounds like a perfect wife, isn't she? Perhaps this question can be answered with reference to palmistry. The marriage line is like a mirror that can reveal the events taking place in a relationship or marriage. It can disclose whether the subject will have a successful romantic relationship or be disappointed in love. A straight and clear marriage line indicates a blissful marriage. The longer the line, the longer the marriage. However, the marriage will be in trouble if the following signs are seen on the palm: 

a) an island on the marriage line 

b) the marriage line is criss-crossed by many bars 

c) the marriage line is forked 

d) the marriage line is broken 

e) the marriage and heart lines have many islands on it 

f) the marriage line terminating in a fork with the fork drooping toward the line of heart

All these signs on the palm are indications of disappointments in love, failing relationships, third party interference, sexual infidelity, and divorce. A black spot on the marriage line indicates widowhood or widowerhood. When there are many fine lines running parallel to the marriage line, they represent the many love affairs outside the existing marriage (To view pictures of the lines of marriages, please click here).

My advice is take a good look at your marriage line before getting married. "Don't do something today, you know you will regret tomorrow, think before you act" (Rashida Rowe). Know your partner well before jumping into a marriage and never get blinded by love. Below are some of the tell-tale signs of husbands who are having extramarital affairs.
(a) When a man starts complaining about his wife and making a big fuss over her minor household mistakes - he is comparing his wife with his new love whom he feels is more superior than his wife.
(b) When a man becomes very particular with his looks, smell and dressing - he wants to look his best for his new love and and is worried that she may think that he is not handsome enough.
(c) When a man loses his temper easily in front of his wife and keeps telling her that they are not compatible - he is insinuating that he wants to divorce her.
(d) When a man dare not make eye contact with his wife - he has cheated on her.
(e) When a man gives all kinds of silly excuses to avoid having a sex with his wife - he is having a wonderful sexual relationship with his girlfriend.
(f) When a man often comes home late saying that he has to work overtime - he wants to spend more time with his lover.
(g) When a man is always busy smsing someone - he wants to keep in touch with his girlfriend all the time because he is very much in love with her.

Should a woman trust her husband 100% or should she spy on him? Well, let me share this real life story of what actually happened to one of my former colleagues. It has never been her style to spy on her husband but, one day, she left something at home and decided to go home to take it. That was when she discovered her husband's sexual relationship with their Indonesian maid. During those days when one can get a maid at RM400 per month, her husband has been paying the maid an extra RM300 monthly for her sexual services. Without second thought, she divorced her husband immediately. Did she do the right thing? Well, if she really cannot live without her husband, then she should keep one eye closed to his infidelity. If she really cannot tolerate him fooling around with other women, then divorce is a better choice. 

There are many marriages that break up after 10, 20 or even 30 years and it seems that men tend to initiate divorce more often than women. Why? Because men are very valuable and the older they are the more valuable they become. As a man grows older, he becomes more financially stable compared to his younger days and therefore can easily become the target of young ladies who are looking for financial security. Never mind his age - he may be in his seventies but he can still marry a young lady in her twenties as long as he has lots of money. But, a rich young man in his twenties would never marry a woman who is already in her seventies - he would rather starve. Once, when I was buying my lunch at the restaurant near my school, I overheard the conversation between two uncles who were already in their sixties. Guess what they were talking about? They said that men are much fewer in number than women and that the government should change the law to allow every man to take two wives legally. These two uncles also said that women in their 40s were too old for them and they preferred those in their 30s. It seems that our Malaysian uncles also know how valuable they are! The uncles' conversation above clearly explains why it is almost impossible for older women to find their soul mates. Men of their age or even older would prefer to go for younger women but younger men would not go for older women. 

It is not uncommon for an older woman (who feels that she cannot satisfy her husband's needs anymore) to get her husband a younger wife so that this young woman can tend to his needs. This has happened to a few of my colleagues. Once, I was talking to two of my colleagues telling them that one of the teachers was giving out bunga telur (a wedding souvenir for guests) because her husband was getting married to a woman half her age and I thought that they would sympathize with her. But, instead of sympathizing with her, they said that she was doing the right thing and gave me many examples of women like her who were getting along very well with their madu (husband's second wife). According to them, these second wives even looked after the first wives when they were sick. Well, if they don't mind sharing their husbands with other women, then there shouldn't be any problems at all. But, problems do arise if a woman cannot tolerate her husband's extramarital affairs and the other women in his life.

What should you do if your husband has been unfaithful? If you feel that the marriage can still be saved, why not try to talk things out with him and find a solution? If he still wants to fool around but has no intention to divorce you and you still love him, learning to forgive and forget is possibly the best thing to do. Many women prefer to suffer in silence as long as their husband knows the way home. If he insists to divorce you, then you have to replan your future and learn to be independent. Being single again may not be a bad thing - it is certainly less stressful than living with a stranger who no longer has any feelings for you. Looking for new love is natural after a divorce but do not go all the way out to seek man and in the process degrade yourself. There is no such thing as one cannot live without a man. Who knows, your life will be much happier and meaningful without being stressed out by a painful marriage.

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read How Long Should a Widower Wait to Remarry After the Death of His Wife?; MARRIAGE AFTER 50: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO CONSIDER? and How to Leave the Past Behind You and Move Forward. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.