LOURDES: THE PIC DU JER AND THE FUNICULAR

The Pic du Jer, which overlooks the town of Lourdes, is a summit in the Hautes Pyrenees. It can be reached by a historic funicular railway in about 15 minutes on a scenic and interesting journey. At an altitude of about 1000 meters, one can get an astounding view of the town of Lourdes, Pau, Tarbes, and the peaks of the Pyrenees from the summit of Pic du Jer. The funicular railway, one of the first to be built in France, was designed by the engineer, Chambrelent, built by Compagnie du Funiculaire  du Pic du Jer, and inaugurated in June 1900. Linking the summit of Pic du Jer to the town of Lourdes at its base, it is a must-visit attraction in Lourdes. Located at 59 avenue Francis Lagardere, 65100 Lourdes, the Pic du Jer is recognizable by its big cross which lights up at night. One can get to it by taking the Little Train of Lourdes from the town of Lourdes.

The Pic du Jer is a good place for hiking, climbing, and mountain biking but as I was not interested in these things, I had rather enjoy myself and relax while admiring the fantastic panorama. Since I went to Lourdes on my own and had two weeks to discover and explore this place, I was free to spend as much time as I wanted on Pic du Jer. It is the kind of place where you can take some time off to experience inner peace, reflect on your life and find your life purpose. There was also something very calming about looking at the shrubs and trees as these could help to relieve stress. What is the 'top of the mountain feeling' like? Once on the summit, there was this kind of rare and wonderful feeling in me which could not be described by words. Standing on the summit and listening to the sound of silence, I had this unique feeling of great elation, deep peacefulness, tranquility and serenity. At that instant, I only wished that I could stay there forever. It was really an unforgettable experience for me.

Inside a historic funicular railway and admiring the stunning views of this pleasant journey

A scenic view of the town of Lourdes on my journey to the summit of Pic du Jer

Riding up the summit along a scenic view

Beautiful mountain views from the train

Scenic view of the Pyrenees from the summit of Pic du Jer

Le Haut de Lourdes - the Restautant of Pic du Jer

View from the top of the world

The town of Lourdes at the base of Pic du Jer

Clouds over the Pyrenees mountain

A beautiful view of natural scenery from the summit

An astonishing view from the summit

Saying goodbye to Pic du Jer with a heavy heart

Descending from the summit of Pic du Jer

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read The Castle of Lourdes, The Cachot, and The Grotto of Massabielle. To view the content page of this blog, please click here. There is a complete list of my articles about Lourdes on this page.

MARRIAGE AFTER 50: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO CONSIDER?

Traditional Chinese Wedding Doll

The first year of my teaching career was the best time of my life. I used to go shopping alone on Saturday nights and enjoyed it very much. I did not know that there was something wrong doing my shopping alone on a Saturday night until I met one of my friends at Kota Raya Complex. When she saw me there, she shouted at me and the way she shouted really made me felt guilty. Guess what she said? Here it goes: "Aiyah... Are you sure you are alone here? Do you know that today is a Saturday? How can you be alone on a Saturday night?" In my heart I was saying, "What is so wrong about going out alone on a Saturday night? I don't see any problems with that." I just smiled at her and said that I did not like to be disturbed while doing shopping and that was why I preferred to shop alone.

I understand now why the Facebook love scammers are making so much money from their fake Facebook accounts. Because there are many women who do not want to be alone on Saturday nights out there. These are the women who can easily fall prey to love scams because they cannot live without love. The scammers know very well that no matter at what age, women need love, and their quest for love can be used as a powerful weapon to make them part with their life savings. Needless to say, the older they are, the more difficult it is for them to find love and that is why older women tend to become the favored targets of love scammers. And these love scammers are now more active than usual because many people have lost their jobs due to Covid-19 and have to resort to other ways of making money. I wonder how many of them have sent me friend requests this week. I accepted a few friend requests and it is not difficult to prove that they are sent by scammers because all of them have just created their new FB accounts. I have written some articles about Facebook love scams previously and I would not reiterate the stories of the scam victims here (You can click here to read these stories).

In this article, I am going to share the love stories of three of my teacher friends and what they think about getting married after 50. Can a woman find true love after 50? Can she have a blissful marriage in her twilight years? Why are some of them so desperate to find love late in life whilst others are not interested to get married at all? Perhaps my teacher friends can provide the answers to these questions. As a qualitative researcher, I have observed them in their natural setting for years and interviewed them several times in my attempt to understand their situations and experiences. Since the samples are small, they may not necessarily represent the population at large and I would not make any generalisations here. My intention is to understand how they derive meaning from their lives and how their meaning could affect their choices by exploring the unique aspects of each case in detail.


Case Study 1
Fanny: When Love Conquers Everything!

Fanny (not her real name) was in her 50s and was about to retire when she met her first husband. She opted to retire early because she wanted to live a happy and carefree life as school work was too stressful for her. While waiting for her retirement day, she was talking excitedly about her beautiful retirement plans. She was very eager to retire because she did not like to do so much work and wanted more time to relax. Her life suddenly changed when she met her first husband. She was so proud of herself that she went around telling everyone about her good fortune. You could have seen how excited she was as he was the only guy in her life who had promised to marry her. Being in love was good for her as she has been in seventh heaven ever since she fell in love. Why has she fallen head over heels in love with this man? What is so special about him? Well, he is a self-employed man in his 60s and has been married twice before he met Fanny. He has four children from his first marriage which ended in divorce and his second wife died leaving behind 3 children. So, how is Fanny going to cope with his ready-made family?

Whenever I meet Fanny, I could not help feeling that there is something very wrong with her. She seems to have lost the sparkle in her eyes and the natural sweet smile that she used to have. She is not as cheerful as she used to be and seems to be forever worried and upset about something. Due to Covid-19, her husband has been out of work for months and even prior to that he did not earn much. Fanny has since become the sole breadwinner of the family as she is the only one who has an income - her monthly pension. Instead of living a carefree life without work and relaxing at home, she has to cook, wash and clean for the whole family - something she hated to do when she was still single. Her plans to travel and see the world would probably never materialize even after Covid-19 has ended because she has to provide for the family. After paying for the groceries, household bills, her stepchildren's school fees / college fees / pocket money, and her husband's pocket money / medical bills, she probably does not have much left for herself. The saddest thing is, her stepchildren does not show much respect for her and often misunderstand her thinking that their father has given her a lot of money. To supplement the family's income, Fanny hopes to teach in a tuition center or become a private tutor when the Covid-19 situation improves. At the age when every retired teacher is looking forward to relax and enjoy life, Fanny is struggling to support her new family. Is this what we say the price of love? Does love really conquer everything? Did Fanny make the right choice? Well that would depend on what she really wants in her life and how she finds meaning in it. If all she needs is love, then it is worth all her sacrifices. But one thing is for sure - marrying a man with a ready-made family is one of the most difficult things for a woman. Stepmother and stepchildren seldom click. No matter what she does for them, she is not their mother. The situation becomes worse if the family is affected by financial problems. She may be trying her best to help her husband and stepchildren but often finds herself under-appreciated. Needless to say, the life of a stepmother is no fairy tale. Being in love and getting married are two different things altogether.


Case Study 2
Geraldine: Never Become a Nurse for an Ailing Old Man

Geraldine (not her real name), a teacher who has retired for six years, is just the opposite of Fanny. Although she is not bad looking, she never gets the chance to meet the right guy because she is the kind of woman that would never go all the way out to chase a guy. According to her, she is not desperate to get married and it does not matter if she remains single all her life. However, if she happened to meet her Mr. Right during her younger days, she would gladly get married and start a family. More than 10 years ago when we were teaching in the same school, she used to say that she did not mind marrying the private practice doctor who worked in a clinic near her house if he were divorced or widowed. However, she recently changed her mind when I asked her if she still fancies that doctor. According to her, since the doctor has already retired, he does not have an income and this would mean that she would have to support him. Geraldine not only does not want to support a retired old man, she also does not want to become his Florence Nightingale and be tortured by his children. Moreover, she does not want his children to have any of her wealth. She said that she does not mind taking care of him if they have been together all their lives as she has the obligation to do so but it is just not possible for her to suddenly take an old man into her house, turn herself into a nurse, and provide for him. Luckily the doctor is not widowed yet!

Some time back, Geraldine called and told me about her friend, a 71-year-old single retired teacher, who was desperately going after a 60 something retired man who has been married and divorced several times. Geraldine sounded really furious that day because her friend did not want to listen to her advice. She could not understand why her friend was so foolish as to create trouble for herself in her twilight years and become a nurse for a sick man - something which Geraldine would never do. When I sent her the article entitled Any woman must be MAD to marry over 60, this was her comment, "The mirror of my thoughts on marriage. Only stupid and naive women crave marriage in their twilight years, most probably become a nurse to an ailing old man!"

Geraldine's Whatsapp Message

Since her retirement 6 years ago, Geraldine has been traveling around the world until early this year when fears of Covid-19 changed her travel plans. Prior to Covid-19, she used to go for singing and dancing lessons but is now busy learning a foreign language at home. As she is staying alone, there isn't much housework for her to do. She is not the kind of woman who likes to cook and prefers eating out thus making life much easier for her. With nothing much to do at home, she spends a lot of time watching TV and calling her friends. She can really chat for hours over the phone! She also enjoys surfing the internet and reading the latest news. Apart from these, she does not have anything else to do - it seems that she is really living a carefree life and enjoying her retirement. Is this what she calls life? Is she happy with her life? According to Geraldine, she has never been any happier and is satisfied with everything that God has bestowed on her. Knowing that 'the other side is nearer' (which means 'death is imminent' in Chinese), she only wants to live her life to the fullest. The lesson we learn from Geraldine is one does not need a man to be happy. Do not create trouble for yourself by doing a nurse's job at the time of life when you should be relaxing. Do not burden yourself financially with a late marriage as your partner is likely to be dependent on you. Happiness is to enjoy every moment of life and not to waste time chasing after a poor and sick old man.


Case Study 3
Jenny: If You Cannot Marry Rich, Stay Single!

Jenny (not her real name), a teacher in her 50s, has never been married all her life. She is the kind of natural beauty with a perfect figure that all men would gladly die for. With so many suitors going after her during her younger days, she need not stay single if she has simply chosen any one of them. Why is she still single? Because of what she has suffered during her poor childhood days, she would not marry someone who cannot provide well for the family. Craving for things that other children had while her parents could not afford them was a painful childhood experience for her and she did not want to see her children suffer as she did. In other words, she would only marry rich. But, as usual, when there is a pretty single woman around, the guys would not let her go. She told me about a few married men who have been going after her for decades and I would describe one of them here. According to Jenny, this self-employed married man who has lost his job earlier has been pestering her since more than 20 years ago even though she has made it very clear that she was not the least interested in him. She finds him very annoying and irritating because he is extremely reluctant to give up chasing her as though he is very sure that he could make her his mistress one day. Who gives him such an idea? The women who cannot be alone on Saturday nights - those who cannot live without a man! This married man waited patiently for decades to start a relationship with Jenny because he believes that as she grows older, she would become less picky and get into an affair with him. Jenny finds his thoughts very insulting and is really furious with him. As what she said, "Even if this guy were still single, I would not consider him because I am not going to support a poor old man. A poor old married man with children who wants to take a mistress is much worse than a poor single man and only fit for the garbage bin." Perhaps his wife should be thankful that he is pursuing a woman who is not interested in him. If he has been pursuing another woman, someone who is craving for love and does not want to be alone, he would have found his mistress more than twenty years ago!

Jenny will be retiring in a few years' time and has great plans for her retirement. She said that she would not think of work after her retirement. She would not do anything related to teaching anymore - not even as a volunteer teacher as there would only be all play and no work her. She planned to spend her time traveling around the world while enjoying life. Fit and youthful, she dresses up elegantly and gives herself the best of everything - she has the best foods, clothes, handbags, shoes, watches, and jewelries. When I asked her if she would ever get married in the future, she said, "I have no money to support a man. Even if I have the money, I would not support him." When I said, "What if you happen to meet a rich man?" According to Jenny, "Even a single 71-year-old rich man prefers to marry a young lady in her 20s. If he has a lot of money, he would certainly go for the young ladies." But what if a rich old divorcee or widower really wants to marry her? Jenny dislikes the idea of marrying a divorcee or widower no matter how rich he may be because she feels that this kind of man is 'heavily burdened' with a ready-made family and like Geraldine, she does not want to have any problems with the stepchildren. She only wants to fill her mind and soul with happiness and not to bear the stepchildren's verbal insults in silence. Since she is used to being on her own, she enjoys being alone and does not feel lonely or unhappy at all. Is she satisfied with what she has? Why not? She has the best of everything and even considers her life to be a paradise on earth. The moral of her story is - enjoy life and give yourself the best of everything. Never allow anyone to come into your life to make you sad. Do not marry poor and make your life miserable. Avoid a 'heavily burdened' marriage especially if it is going to cause you to suffer in silence. Watch out for married men on the prowl. No 'cheap sale' no matter at what age!


Conclusion

A blissful marriage is still possible in the twilight years if one is patient and not so calculative. In Fanny's case, for example, once her husband's children have grown up, got married and left the house, she would have more peaceful days with her husband. By then, his children would be glad to leave him with Fanny because they need not look after him. Needless to say, Fanny's husband would be so thankful to her for taking care of him and providing for all his needs that he would love her even more. Marrying a poor old man does have its advantages as one can be assured that his children would not come back to pester their father for their share of the property and hence create problems for their stepmother. So, if Fanny can wait patiently for better days ahead and do not mind being the sole breadwinner of the family, then she would not see any problems in her marriage. Once the children are no longer with them, her monthly pension should be sufficient for her and her husband to live comfortably. As for Geraldine, her decision not to become a nurse for an ailing old man and provide for him may not be wrong since happiness means different things to different people. As long as she is enjoying what she is doing, her life is full of meaning. The same applies to Jenny who does not want to get married and suffer in silence. As an independent woman who knows how to give herself the best of everything, she would certainly do much better in life without being burdened by some kind of relationship. I wish them the best that this world could give..


You may also like to read Will your husband divorce you and marry his lover?, How Long Should a Widower Wait to Remarry After the Death of His Wife? and THE LINES OF MARRIAGE AND HOW THEY AFFECT YOUR LOVE LIFE. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

There Is Gold Everywhere in Malaysia

There is gold everywhere, most people are not trained to see it - Robert T. Kiyosaki

When I was in Form 6, one of my former classmates got married to a fishmonger because she was 5 months pregnant. When the other schoolmates learnt about her marriage, many of them could not believe their ears. Among some of the things they said were, "she is such a beautiful girl, why marry a stinking and poor fishmonger? She is only 19. She should come out to work and see the world, who knows, she may find someone better." One my best friends said, "If I were to get married, my husband must be someone who dresses well and works in the office. It's embarrassing to have your friends going to your fish stall and asking you to weigh a kilo of fish for them." Guess what my mom said when I asked her for 'angpow money' for the wedding dinner telling her about my former classmate's situation? Being a very conservative mom, she said, "If you don't study hard, get pregnant and marry a fishmonger like her, I would rather kill you."

I am not trying to say that it's okay to get pregnant and marry young. What I am trying to emphasize here is that fishmongers are not as poor as many of us may think. Although my former classmate's husband is a fishmonger, he can afford to buy one house after another for her throughout the years. When her neighbor told me about it, I thought she was joking and I did not really believe what she said. I only hoped that my former classmate would be happy with her new life and her husband would treat her well. A few years later, I visited my cousin brother and it was then that I began to believe what my former classmate's neighbor said. My cousin brother was only 21 and he had already bought a bungalow and a Mercedes Benz. He does not need good results and he does not have to go to the university. Even university graduates do not earn as much as he does. And what does he do for a living? He is a fishmonger and also a fish wholesale distributor.

Many of us may think that working in the wet market is a very shameful thing. Recently, university graduates who are working at the Selayang wholesale market have been jeered by their friends. When I told a jobless relative who has been living on handouts for years to work there, he said, "So cheap ah!" And instead of getting a job to support himself, he continues to beg from everyone! Do you know that there are many people who are lucky enough to live comfortably by collecting rent because their parents were wise enough to invest in properties at the time when houses were cheap and easily affordable? Why aren't they working? Because they cannot find their dream jobs. Because they are graduates and therefore cannot do lower-skilled jobs. Because they want to dress well and sit in the office. I've got a childhood friend who has never worked anywhere since she graduated in New Zealand because she cannot find the job that she wants. She is lucky because her parents can afford to support her. Time flies and there is the possibility that before these people could find their dream jobs, they would have reached retirement age already! As what Benjamin Franklin said, "Lost time is never found again." Robert T. Kiyosaki is right, "There is gold everywhere, most people are not trained to see it." So, they prefer to live their life in a meaningless way without doing anything at all. It is okay for those with parents who can afford to support them but what about those who come from poor families?

For a long time, the Rohingyas, Bangladeshis, Indonesians, Pakistanis, Syrians, Afghans, Yemenis, and Somalis have known that Malaysia is a land of opportunity and it may also be true to say that they are the ones who are trained to see gold everywhere in Malaysia. The Rohingyas, for instance, are willing to risk unsafe sea journeys to come to Malaysia even though they know that they are not welcomed here. There is no genocide in Cox's Bazar, Bangladesh, so why do they want to leave Cox's Bazar to come to Malaysia?  There is no more genocide in Myanmar and the State Counsellor of Myanmar, Aung San Suu Kyi, is ready to take back the Rohingya refugees. But why are the Rohingyas still so desperate to come to Malaysia that they don't mind waiting for months in Southern Thailand looking out for the opportunity to sneak into Malaysia waters and intentionally damage their boat beyond repair to force Malaysia to take them in? Why are they willing to pay RM15,000 - RM20,000 per head for the human traffickers to smuggle them into Malaysia? Because they know that Malaysia is a lucrative destination for them and they would have better career prospects in this country. The dream of a better life in Malaysia is so real that it inspires and motivates them to risk their lives to get to Malaysia. After two of their boats were turned away, they are now trying to sneak into the country through 'rat lanes' (illegal routes) and Malaysians are worried that they might bring the coronavirus with them. Using all sorts of tricks and ploys to get into Malaysia, the Rohingyas are pursuing their dreams courageously albeit in the wrong way. As what Walt Disney said, "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." Needless to say, many of those who came to Malaysia earlier have already achieved their dreams.

The success story of the president of MERHROM (Myanmar Ethnic Rohingya Human Rights Organization Malaysia), Zafar Ahmad Abdul Ghani, is indeed an inspiration for the Rohingyas and they would love to emulate him. He left Buthidaung, a town in Rakhine State, Myanmar, at the age of 17 and came to Malaysia via Thailand in 1992. According to him, when he first arrived in Malaysia, he had no identification documents and the Malaysian Government helped him to get a UNHCR card. His 28 years in Malaysia has given him better career prospects and a brighter future. He came from nothing but today he has everything. He is now married to a Malaysian and has 3 children. As the owner of a grocery shop near Taman Cheras Utama, business is going very well for him and he is enjoying a comfortable life with his family.  Needless to say, this 'from rags to riches' story is the dream of every Rohingya who paid the human traffickers to smuggle them into Malaysia. Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true (Leon Joseph Suenens).

Zafar Ahmad serving his customers at his grocery shop (Source: Harian Metro).

Why did the Rohingyas ask the Malaysian Government to give them Selayang (a town in Gombak district, Selangor)? To the Rohingyas, the Selayang wholesale market is a dream come true as it can provide great opportunities for the them to improve their career prospects. According to Harian Metro, many of our local traders have sold their stalls to the Bangladeshis and Rohingyas who took over their businesses in the market. Although these traders have sold their stalls to the foreigners, they still  renew their licences using their names every year to deceive the authorities. How much do each of these stalls cost? The price ranges from RM500,000 to RM1 million each. Where do the foreigners get so much money to buy their stalls? They are financially stable because each of them can earn RM300 - RM500 per day working in the market. Individually they may not be able to afford it but by pooling their resources together, they would have no problem starting a business and making big money. They don't mind paying the lump sum because they know that they can get back millions in one year. It is not difficult to make money in the market especially as wholesale distributors. Thus the foreigners can see gold in the market which our locals cannot see! Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them (Ann Lander). If the traders can make so much money in the wholesale market, what about other businesses?

Many of us would have heard of the success story of Md Billal Hossain Bhuiyan, a Bangladesh national who has become a successful businessman in Malaysia. He first came to Malaysia to study but did not complete his studies because he had no money to pay his tuition fees. He then worked as a delivery boy in the Pudu wet market and later owned his vegetable stall in the market. Through hard work, he was able to save enough money to open his first supermarket outlet. Today, Pasaraya Harian Bhuiyen has 20 outlets in the Klang Valley and Seremban. Md Billal Hossain Bhuiyan, a permanent resident of Malaysia now, also owns a poultry farm. He started with nothing and is now worth millions or perhaps billions of ringgit. This is the dream of every foreigner who made it to Malaysia. What about our Malaysians? Do they have such a dream too? The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams (Eleanor Roosevelt).

The rags-to-riches stories of the foreigners clearly show that one does not have to sit in the office to make big money in life. Since there is a glut of university graduates, paper qualification is worthless unless one is willing to work hard.

In a way, we should salute the foreigners for their resilience, hard work, and determination as it is not easy to build their empire from nothing in a foreign country. This is especially true for the Rohingyas who brave death at sea for a better life in Malaysia. It seems that Malaysia, being their favored destination, is their only hope. That was why, Mohammed Noor, a Rohingya in the Kutupalong refugee camp in Bangladesh, summed up the Rohingya condition as 'zero hope' when a Rohingya boat was prevented from docking in Malaysia on 16 April 2020. But why is Malaysia their only hope? I'll take that as a compliment because it means that there is hope for everyone in Malaysia. Let us pray that the whole world would work together to solve the Rohingya refugee problems so that they would find hope in other countries as well.

The foreigners who come to Malaysia for a better life would agree that it is the land of opportunity and hope. This clearly explains why businesses run by illegal immigrants are mushrooming. Some of them have been here for a long time and have dominated certain businesses. Others have married local women and are conducting their businesses through their wives. These foreigners don't mind marrying any grandmother who comes along as long as they can stay in Malaysia and start their business. Why? Because they know that there is gold everywhere in Malaysia. Are Malaysians aware of that? If the foreigners could become successful entrepreneurs in Malaysia, surely our own people would be able to do much better! And Malaysians certainly have better chances than foreigners should they wish to find a job or set up a business. The good news is - since the Movement Control Order (MCO), employers are not allowed to hire illegal foreign workers anymore and premises operated by foreigners illegally would be raided and ordered to shut down. With a slowing economy due to the Covid-19 outbreak, the government's first priority is to solve the problem of unemployment among Malaysians. Therefore, the priority to employment is given to the locals and not the illegal immigrants.

Kuala Lumpur City Hall (DBKL) raided and shut down a barber shop run by Indonesians who were doing their business illegally at Jalan Madrasah. (Source: Jabatan Imigresen Malaysia).

DBKL shut down and sealed an illegal mini-mart run by foreigners at Taman Sri Sinar Segambut, Kuala Lumpur (Source: DBKL Facebook).

DBKL closed down car wash run by 3 Myanmar citizens holding UNHCR cards at Kampung Bandar Dalam, Gombak (Source: DBKL Facebook).


Following tips from the public, the Kuala Lumpur City Hall (DBKL) has raided and shut down many shops, restaurants, car washes, mini-marts, clothing stores, and roadside stalls operated by illegal foreigners. The shops were raided, closed down and sealed as a warning to those who run their business illegally. Now that illegal immigrants are not allowed to work and more and more illegal premises are  ordered to shut down, let's hope that Malaysians who have lost their jobs due to the coronavirus outbreak would take this opportunity to rebuild their lives and have satisfying careers in the future. The best way to predict the future is to create it (Abraham Lincoln). The future depends on what you do today (Mahatma Gandhi). Within every crisis lies a golden opportunity (Sonia Ricotti). A year from now you may wish you had started today (Karen Lamb).

You may also like to read Should the illegal entry of the Rohingyas into Malaysia be encouraged? To view the content page of this blog, please click here.


References:
1.  RM500,000 hingga RM1 juta. Itu harga satu tapak niaga di Pasar Borong Kuala Lumpur
2.  Presiden Rohingya MERHROM, Zafar Ahmad siap ada kedai runcit sendiri
3.  A look at (famous for being infamous) Pudu through the eyes of its residents
4.  Over 65 illegally run premises shut down in DBKL ops
5.  Hundreds of Rohingya Refugees Stuck at Sea With ‘Zero Hope’
6.  Zafar Ahmad Abdul Ghani - A Biography

IF YOU WANT TO GET RICH QUICK, START A CULT

As I was googling for more news about money-hungry pastors recently, I came across a very interesting article entitled 4.5-Year Jail Term for Mosque Thief Shows That If You Want to Take People's Money, Start a Church.. This article is about the 6 members of Singapore's City Harvest church who were convicted of misappropriating $50 million in church funds. Despite the huge amount of money involved, their sentences were lowered to between 7 months and 3.5 years. On the other hand, the man who stole $1900 from a mosque was sentenced to 4.5 years in prison. Netizens were of the opinion that he should have taken $50 million instead of a meager $1900. The moral of the story is if you want to take money illegally, do it wisely such as starting a religion and asking for donations.

This article reminded me of the juvenile detention center where I conducted my doctoral research. I didn't know why I suddenly started thinking of my 12 boys in the detention center after reading this article. How can I forget them? We got along very well and if not because of them, I would not get my Ph.D. Truly, I have learnt a lot from them. Two of them, aged 13 and 14, were brothers. They were very handsome and cute boys, especially the younger one. Why were they apprehended and sent to the juvenile detention center? Because they attempted to steal RM17 from a donation box in a mosque. The two brothers had no pocket money after their father left them and their mother's meager income was barely sufficient to support them. They were so poor that they had to depend on the handouts given to them by their relatives and neighbors. However, their failure to steal RM17 did not allow them to escape criminal liability and both of them had to spend more than one year in the juvenile detention center. Well, there is a world of difference between RM17 and $50 million and I feel even sadder for these two boys now. Is there any justice in this world?

According to Lafayette Ronald Hubbard (13 March 1911 - 24 January 1986), an American science fiction author, "You don't get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion."  How right he is! One cannot deny the fact that many of those who started their own religion have become filthy rich today. Do you know that a good speaker who knows how to influence his audience can easily attract a large congregation and brainwash them to give away everything they have including their lives? According to Linda (not her real name), a former megachurch member, "the pastor would tell every existing member to bring in at least two new members to the church every weekend. If they fail to bring in new members, they would be scolded and humiliated. To encourage the people to donate as much as they could, the pastor would brainwash them saying that God would reward those who make generous donations to the church a hundred-fold and that they should downgrade their homes and sell their cars to donate more to the church. During the 'offerings' session, envelopes are used to collect donations from the church members. Those who make large donations are applauded whilst those who give little are strongly encouraged to contribute more. If any of the church members were too poor to make an offering, their group leaders would monitor them closely and persuade them to donate whatever they have. On top of the 'offerings', the congregants are required to give 10% of their income/allowance to the church every month. To monitor their tithing, the congregants are given an envelope and a form to fill up their name, contact number, and the amount of money they are giving. Apart from the compulsory offerings and 10% tithing, the congregants are also required to contribute at least $200 for the building fund. In addition to the donations, it is compulsory for them to buy CDs, not only one, but several copies of the exact same album." Linda's description of the megachurch donations therefore clearly explains how one can get rich by starting a religion.

Many years ago, when a friend of mine kept pestering me to go to her church, I didn't understand why she suddenly became so persuasive - even more persuasive than the sales representatives that I have ever met. She seemed to be so desperate that she came to my house to drag me to church and even said that she would introduce a doctor to me at her church. Since I was totally uninterested in her church and the doctor in it, I did not give her invitation second thought. All I wanted to do then was to get rid of her because she was so annoying. It took me so many years to realize that she was actually doing what her pastor wanted her to do - to attract new members and hence more donations. Talking about donations, Linda's story (above) clearly describes how clever her pastor is in the art of getting donations. Although he has to spend some money to buy the offering envelopes, these envelopes not only serve as a donation reminder but also an important tool to make the congregants part with their money out of social pressure. Having a group leader to monitor the donors and to persuade them to donate is another effective way to make the congregants part with their hard-earned money. The people are just too shy not to donate when they are pressured to do so. However, Linda's experiences at the megachurch sounds scary to me. I am thankful that the Catholic Church has never pressured anyone to donate money like that.

Many of us would have read about Jim Warren Jones (13 May 1931 - 18 Nov 1978), an American preacher and cult leader, who led his followers into a mass murder-suicide. Also known as the Jonestown massacre, more than 900 individuals died of cyanide poisoning in this incident. Why did they follow the orders of their cult leader, Jim Jones? Why did Jim Jones have such great influence over his followers? Through mind control and brain washing. This infamous and horrific event clearly shows that if the pastor is able to influence the minds of his followers in his favor, they would commit suicide with him. The moral of the story is if  the pastor can brainwash and control the minds of his congregants, they would do anything for him such as downgrading their homes and selling their cars for cash and donating all the money to their pastor. It is nothing surprising if they stand by him and give him their unwavering support knowing that he has misappropriated religious donations and church funds. Why not? Do you know that in certain churches, pastors are treated like Gods?

Caishen, the Chinese God of Wealth

I have been wondering why those who start a religion always prefer to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. If their ultimate intention is to make as much money as they could out of the congregants for their personal benefits, perhaps they should stop using the name of Jesus and the Gospels to profit. In actual fact, apart from Christianity, there are many religions that they can consider and many other subjects that they can preach. They don't even have to call their place of worship a church. Why not call it a temple or an organization? The names such as Prosperity Temple, God of Wealth Temple, Come And Be Rich Temple, Get Rich Fast Organization, or Money! Money! Money! Organization sound equally good, don't they? Why not call themselves 'Gurus' instead of 'Pastors'? If they know how to brainwash and control the mind of their followers, they can still get lots of donations, perhaps more than what they can get from preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For instance, a guru who starts a cult to make quick money should preach about materialism and ask his followers to worship the God of Wealth. It would be meaningless if he preaches about how much Jesus loves us and that He will always be there for us and then ended up embezzling church funds himself. What actually is he trying to preach then? Is he trying to demonstrate that Jesus will be there for us when we take other people's money?

We all know that begging is a lucrative career in Malaysia and beggars have never been arrested for misappropriating funds. Why? Because the money given to them is intended for them. It does not matter how they spend the money because they have never asked the public to give the money to Jesus. So, if the pastor's intention is to keep the donations for himself, why not start a cult and preach about his own ideologies instead of preaching about Jesus and the Gospels? If he could brainwash his congregants, turn them into faithful followers and make them worship him, making it clear that the donations are for his ideologies, then there is no embezzlement. If his followers don't mind giving him money and willingly support his ideologies, then he is free to use the donations to buy condominiums, luxury cars, and invest in a music company if these are his ideologies. There is no need for him to abuse the name of Jesus to build his empire and tarnish Jesus's image with his bad fruit and scandals.

Covid-19 Emergency Support Report

Photo Source: SFXC Facebook

My dear readers, you may have read Controversial Louisiana megachurch pastor who has repeatedly flouted social distancing by holding in-person services now wants Americans to donate their stimulus checks to evangelists. This pastor has endangered the health of his congregants when he defied stay-at-home orders and repeatedly held large religious services. He also asked the poor to donate their $1200 stimulus checks to his megachurch. Should the pastor ask the poor to donate their stimulus checks when they need money to spend on basics such as groceries and rent? Instead of asking the congregants to donate their stimulus checks (Bantuan Prihatin Nasional) to the churches, the Catholic Churches in Malaysia continued to help the poor, aged, handicapped, and those with medical issues even during the Movement Control Order. Due to restrictions in movements for NGOs, funds were credited into the beneficiaries' bank accounts to help them survive the tough times. How did the Catholic churches do that? Our priests do not invest in condominiums or music companies. They don't live lavish lifestyles. They don't need private jets and luxury cars. They don't have to buy Lamborghinis for their wives. Most of all, they are living the life of Christ (You may also like to read Beware of Greedy, Selfish and Money-Hungry Pastors & FATHER OC LIM: AN IMAGE OF CHRIST THE PRIEST). To view the content page of this blog, please click here.


References:
1. 9 Reasons Why City Harvest Church Was the Devil To Me
2. My unpleasant experience at City Harvest Church after being brought there by a female friend
3. 4.5-Year Jail Term For Mosque Thief Shows That If You Want To Take People’s Money, Start A Church
4.  Kong Hee lives in Sentosa Cove but asked donors to give and downgrade homes
5.  Pastor John Gray Defends Buying $200K Lamborghini for Wife
6.  Controversial Louisiana megachurch pastor who has repeatedly flouted social distancing by holding in-person services now wants Americans to donate their stimulus checks to evangelists

FATHER OC LIM: AN IMAGE OF CHRIST THE PRIEST

The heart of a priest is made for love.
He does so in the manner and
following the example of Christ the
Bridegroom, of Christ who gave
Himself entirely to humanity in love
- Bishop Nicolas Brouwet

The photo above is taken from the Catholic Asian News dated June 1992 which I have kept for 28 years. This issue of the CA News is very precious to me because it tells the story of Father O.C. Lim's beautiful ordination in great detail. That was a beautiful beginning of his journey as a Jesuit priest. Everyone was very happy that day. But 28 years later...

Reverend Father Anthony Lim Ooi Chai (26 Aug 1943 - 5 June 2020), better known as Father O.C. Lim, passed away at Pantai Medical Centre on 5th June 2020. He was admitted to the hospital in early May and had been recovering after surgery. His sudden death was caused by his earlier aortic dissection and aneurysm. His demise came as a shock to everyone. Too sad to be true. I prefer to think of Father OC Lim's beautiful ordination.

When I received news of Father O.C. Lim's death two days ago, I thought that it was a mistake and I could not accept this fact until I confirmed the sad news via the Facebook of St. Francis Xavier Church Jalan Gasing. I kept saying to myself, "He is only 76 and still young. There are many world leaders who are in power in their 80s and 90s. Why can't he stay with us a little longer? I have always prayed that he would enjoy a long and healthy life. Why can't he live past 100? Why is it that good people always die young?" I wanted to write another article about him at that instant but found it difficult to focus on my writing. For the past two days, I wasn't really doing anything at all because I just couldn't do anything. I believe that all those who know or have heard about him would feel the same too because Father OC Lim is not an ordinary man. He is an image of Christ the priest who has clearly proven the meaning, purpose, and importance of the Christian priesthood. Truly, he is another Christ (Alter Christus) who has given himself fully to the people that he has come to serve. In other words, he is a living icon of Christ in our midst.

What is the meaning of "another Christ" (Alter Christus)? According to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, priests are "men taken from among men" which means that they are not the Toms, Dicks, and Harrys that we meet on the streets each day. As representatives of Christ, they have to make the presence of Christ visible to the flock entrusted to their care and in order to do so they have to live the life of Christ themselves. This is clearly stated in the first letter of Peter:

"To the elders among you I, a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and sharer in the glory that is to be revealed, make this appeal. God's flock is in your midst; give it a shepherd's care. Watch over it willingly as God would have you do, not under constraint, and not for shameful profit either, but generously. Be examples to the flock, not lording it over those assigned to you, so that when the chief shepherd appears you will win yourselves the unfading crown of glory" (1 Peter 5:1-4).

Father OC Lim knew what living the life of Christ meant and need not be reminded by the Popes again and again about the importance of priestly celibacy. As a representative of Jesus Christ, he had the overwhelming responsibility to continue the mission of Christ the Priest by giving himself totally and absolutely to God and the Church. He has renounced everything including that which our society cannot live without - marriage and material things. Given the fact that almost everyone in this world is pursuing money, fame, power and love, only a saint can forgo these necessities of life. Father OC Lim has indeed set a good example for the priests through his act of total self-giving. As the good shepherd, he is truly a reflection of the goodness of Jesus and having him in our midst makes us feel the presence of Christ through him. He is our rare and precious treasure and the faithful will always appreciate his immense unconditional love. The word "love" here does not mean "deep affection for a particular woman" because it has a greater meaning than that in a priest's life. "The heart of a priest is made for love," says Bishop Nicolas Brouwet and "he does so in the manner and following the example of Christ the Bridegroom." According to Bishop Nicolas Brouwet, this is only possible if he can "give himself entirely to humanity in love and his heart is ready to offer itself for all, without exclusivity and without preference. He should be impartial so that he can go to everyone with a free heart, without attachment and this is precisely what the faithful appreciate" (You may like to read Bishop Nicolas Brouwet: The Heart of a Priest Is Made for Love). Yes, Father OC Lim has followed the example of Christ and given himself entirely to humanity in love. He has offered his heart for all, without exclusivity and preference. This is what we call true love.

Once I was dead but now I live -

forever and ever (Revelation 1:18).

Father OC Lim will live forever in our hearts and always be remembered as our hero. This hero will be respected, honored, loved, and greatly missed for years to come because he has sacrificed himself to live the life of Christ for a world in need of salvation. He is a shepherd of souls who has always been there for his sheep. Throughout these years, he has accompanied us especially in the dramatic moments of our lives. He did not live for himself but for the sanctification of the people. He will also be fondly remembered as an advocate for justice and righteousness. Through the sacred priesthood of Jesus Christ, he has at last won himself the unfading crown of glory. May his soul rest in peace.

I am the resurrection and the life:

whoever believes in me,

though he should die, will come to life;

and whoever is alive and believes in me

will never die. (John 11:25).

Let us pray that many more young men would emulate Father OC Lim and become holy priests. To all our Catholic priests who have renounced marriage and material goods to live the life of Christ, the faithful will always be proud of you because every one of you is a living image of Jesus Christ. Do you know that you are our unsung heroes? According to St. Francis of Assisi, the priesthood is a A VOCATION HIGHER THAN ANGELS and if he were to meet a priest and and angel at the same time, he would greet the priest first because the priest is a representative of Christ (You may also like to read FATHER OC LIM - OUR PRIEST LAWYER).


References:
1.  French bishop reflects on priestly celibacy book by Cardinal Sarah, Benedict XVI. The Catholic World Report.
2.  The New American Bible. New York: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
3.  Another Priest for Kuala Lumpur Archdiocese. CA News June 1992.

Should the illegal entry of the Rohingyas into Malaysia be encouraged?

Smuggling Rohingyas into Malaysia - a boat ferrying about 200 Rohingyas attempted to enter Malaysia waters on 16 April 2020 (Photo Source: RMAF) 

A former colleague of mine who has retired for several years used to give her do-little nephew money because she did not want her sister's son to starve. The more she gave him, the more he expected from her until lately when her relatives blamed her for not helping him enough. The questions which arise here are - Is it fair for my former colleague's relatives to blame her for not giving this do-little guy enough money to lead a decent life? Why she alone should provide for him? What about the other relatives? Can't they do something to help this do-little young man? Does it mean that my former colleague has taken full responsibility for her nephew just because she helps him out on humanitarian grounds? Don't you think that all her relatives have equal responsibility in his welfare? Why are they saying that she is stingy because she gives her nephew very little money each month even though they themselves do not give him anything at all? It is good to have aspirations but these aspirations are meaningless without actions.

I have been following the Rohingya debate on the internet for some time and this constantly reminds me of what is happening to my colleague (above). As of March 2020, there are 179,521 UNHCR cardholders in Malaysia and 101,584 are Rohingyas. At the same time, more than 1 million Rohingyas are sheltering at the refugee camps in Cox's Bazar, Bangladesh. Looking at these numbers, one cannot deny the fact that Malaysia and Bangladesh have done a lot to help the Rohingyas. Apart from Malaysia and Bangladesh, which country on earth would be willing to take care of such a great number of Rohingyas? And the Rohingyas are doing well in Malaysia - many of them even have their own business (Please click here to read the success stories of the Rohingyas). That is the reason why they keep coming to Malaysia through illegal means such as human smuggling in violation of the country's immigration law. It is reported that the Rohingyas have made perilous journeys to Malaysia through a syndicate of human traffickers and these journeys are not cheap as each of them has to pay their traffickers RM15,000 to sail to Malaysia.

However, the time has come when Malaysia can no longer take in more Rohingyas as the country has become too concentrated with them and has exceeded its capacity to take care of their welfare. Receiving more Rohingyas, particularly during the coronavirus pandemic, would also mean that the lives of Malaysians are at risk as this would interfere with the Government's efforts to fight the pandemic. During these hard times, Malaysia has no other option but to turn away a boat (which originated in Cox's Bazar) carrying about 200 Rohingya refugees from entering Malaysia waters on 16 April 2020. Because of this, the Malaysian authorities have been criticised for using the pandemic as an excuse to turn away the Rohingyas. But is this fair?


Can anyone imagine what would happen if our country has allowed that boat to land? Among the dire consequences are:

1.  Once our country has given the green-light, more and more boats would be arriving in Malaysia and the day would come when all the Rohingyas in Cox's Bazar would make Malaysia their home. Why Malaysia and not elsewhere? Because it seems that no one wants the Rohingyas. Because they do not like Bangladesh's Cox's Bazar (Selayang is certainly much better than Cox's Bazar). Because Malaysia has been very kind to them. The Rohingyas are so desperate to come to Malaysia that those who arrive illegally intentionally damage their boat beyond repair so that they cannot be deported. They can wait for months at the Andaman Sea (somewhere near Koh Adang Island in Southern Thailand) looking out for the opportunity to enter Malaysia waters and once they get there, they would purposely damage their boat. That sounds more like forcing Malaysia to accept them. How can these Rohingya boats last for so many months at sea? According to the chief of the Malaysian Maritime Enforcement Agency (MMEA), syndicates from Thailand and Myanmar provide food and fuel for them.

2.  The human traffickers preying on Rohingyas would become billionaires out of their human-smuggling business in no time. In doing so, they are putting the lives of the Rohingyas in danger because the dilapidated boats that they provide for the refugees may capsize or sink at sea. Needless to say, this kind of smuggling business should not be encouraged. According to the CEO of Fortify Rights, Matthew Smith, "Sending an ill-equipped ship of refugees out to sea is unlawful and a death sentence." How right he is! But who actually sent the ill-equipped ship of refugees to sea? The human traffickers did. Why did they do it? For the sake of money. So is it fair to blame Malaysia for their human-smuggling business?

3.  If Malaysia encourages the illegal entry of the Rohingyas, their counterparts in Thailand and Indonesia would definitely take every opportunity to sneak into Malaysia in the hope for a better life. Those entering Malaysia illegally from Indonesia may have been infected with Covid-19 as Indonesia is also known as the "Italy of Southeast Asia". Under such circumstances, the lives of Malaysians would be greatly endangered (Do you know that many Rohingya refugees have vanished from Indonesia? Where are they now? Smuggled into Malaysia?).

4.  With the increase in the number of foreign workers, the Covid-19 infection rate would go up. Why is it so? Because the majority of those tested positive for Covid-19 are foreign workers. Living in cramped and dirty conditions, they have contributed greatly to the spread of Covid-19. Since all they want is a roof over their head, these foreigners could not be bothered about good hygiene. Do you know that the Rohingyas like to keep goats and cows in their apartment? They also like to chew betel nut leaves and spit it out everywhere. OMG! That is why being surrounded by foreign workers can be very stressful for Malaysian citizens. The long-time residents of Pudu, for instance, are very eager to move out if only they can afford to do so because the area is well-known for its large concentration of foreign workers. According to a Pudu homemaker, each time she sees a foreign worker, she would be wondering when the area would come under enhanced movement control order (EMCO). She was so worried that she started to panic when the day she feared finally arrived. When news broke out that some of these foreign workers were infected with Covid-19, she just rushed out to get her groceries as though she had lost her mind and accidentally fell down and twisted her ankle. Since the commencement of the movement control order (MCO), she and her neighbors have already been worrying about their fate because the foreign workers like to meet and chat in groups without practicing social distancing and not wearing a mask at all or simply wearing a mask under their nose. The Rohingyas also have the habit of fleeing from quarantine centers and these coronavirus runaways could endanger public health (You may like to read Rohingya refugee, possibly with Covid-19, disappears from quarantine centre).

5.  With the influx of Rohingyas, many Malaysians would find themselves out of work because they have to compete with the refugees who do not mind getting a lower pay and working for longer hours. Some of these foreigners have also become their own boss. Would the foreign workers replace the locals one day? Please read Chinatown turning into foreigntown & Malaysians hold dear Petaling Street, mourn lost identity.

6.  Our streets would be full of Rohingya beggars. I have seen lots of Rohingya women and children begging at the wet markets and around KLCC and Bukit Bintang area. Begging is a lucrative career in Malaysia and according to the New Straits Times (dated 19 Mac 2018), these Rohingya beggars can collect RM80-RM90 daily. The child beggars also have the habit of annoying members of the public by pulling their clothes. How do you like being chased by beggars who keep pulling your clothes and asking for money each time you go out? Remember, Rohingyas breed fast and when there are too many of them in the country, this is what we have to endure.

7.  If there are too many of them in the country, it is very obvious that the crime rate would rise. In fact, some of these refugees have already been arrested for robbery, burglary and murder. Do you know that on 25 August 2017, the Rohingyas killed 99 Hindu villagers in Rakhine? Please read Cops on the hunt for two Rohingya after busting burglary gang; Five Rohingyas detained in connection with multi-state crime spree; Cops arrest five foreigners suspected of being involved in house break-ins in Ampang; Body of 6-year-old girl found on road shoulder, stepfather prime suspect; Cops nab Myanmar man, woman over Grab driver’s murder; and Myanmar Rohingya militants massacred Hindus, says Amnesty.

8.  Their demands would increase too. Recently they demanded for equal rights - the rights to job opportunities, education, and health. They also wanted to have Selayang (a town in Gombak district, Selangor). If they bring the entire Cox's Bazar to Malaysia, then it is nothing surprising if they want to be members of parliament and / or ministers.


In Bangladesh, marriages between Bangladeshis and Rohingyas are banned to prevent the latter from using marriage to gain citizenship. Last month, Bangladesh has also emphasized that Not A Single Rohingya Will Be Allowed To Enter. I don't understand why some people are criticizing Malaysia for turning back a Rohingya boat. Are they trying to say that Malaysia should be the next Cox's Bazar after Bangladesh? The question which arises here is - Should we still encourage the Rohingyas to come to Malaysia at the expense of our own people? As the saying goes "Kera di hutan disusukan, anak di rumah mati kelaparan" which means that the monkeys in the forest are given milk to drink while the children at home are dying from hunger. Surely, this should not be allowed to happen in Malaysia!

Perhaps those who say that Malaysia should do more for the Rohingyas have forgotten that they can also do something to help them as the responsibility to help these refugees is not restricted to Malaysia or Bangladesh. Maybe each of them can adopt a Rohingya family - pay for their living expenses and send their children to international schools. Or they can contribute money to buy land in various countries and build houses for the Rohingyas. What about marrying a Rohingya? It is possible. I am sure the Rohingyas would be grateful to their benefactors. In actual fact, if every country in this world is willing to take in 10,000 Rohingyas, they would be able to solve the Rohingya refugee crisis. Let us hope and pray that the whole world would do something to help the Rohingyas and solve the refugee problems encountered by Malaysia and Bangladesh.

The Rohingyas can also consider going back to Myanmar since many of them have already returned to their country. I remember watching a BBC documentary about Myanmar and I saw many newly built houses in Rakhine for the Rohingyas to move in once they return to their country. Frankly speaking, I would love to have a house like that in the countryside. According to the Bangkok Post, Myanmar is 'ready' for the return of Rohingya. This is really good news for the Rohingyas as their country wants them to return and have made preparations to receive them. Why not return home instead of giving problems to other countries and ended up belonging nowhere? I am sure this is the best solution for the Rohingyas because it seems that nobody wants them. Since Suu Kyi Says Myanmar Is Ready to Welcome Back Rohingya Refugees, they should give themselves another chance and take her word for it. The wisest thing for them to do is to start all over again in their homeland. Why not? Myanmar is a beautiful country.

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read There Is Gold Everywhere in Malaysia and The Rohingya Issue: Justice for Malaysia and Bangladesh. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

Cutting Your Own Hair at Home is Easy, Fun, and More Hygienic - Stay Safe

Whilst on my way to the hair salon one day prior to the movement control order (MCO), I kept wondering how I could practise social and physical distancing there. I was quite reluctant to go to the hair salon that day because I did not want to have physical contact with anyone during the coronavirus pandemic. I was wondering what would happen if the hairdresser and / or his clients had the virus. After all, there are many people who have been infected without knowing it as they do not start coughing immediately. What about those who do not show any symptoms at all? And the towel, hairbrush, comb, and chair - all these have been used by many people. Even the hairdresser himself is in contact with many people. Surely, anyone who comes in contact with an infected person will be infected too! I changed my mind although I was almost there and decided to wait until the coronavirus pandemic is completely over. But when would that be? No one can answer this question but the most important thing is to stay safe. Some of us may have read about the Missouri hairstylist  who attended to customers while experiencing symptoms. According to The Guardian, she may have exposed 91 people to Covid-19.

For years I have been wondering where to find a good and honest hairdresser. I found one more than ten years ago but after he left the salon, I had no idea where he had gone. The one I used to go to for the past few years has been pestering me to perm my hair or do rebonding and did not seem to be very happy when I told him that I preferred my hair to look natural. He kept denying the fact that the perm and rebonding process could cause split ends and damage my hair and offered to give me a discount but I declined his offer - not because I could not afford to pay but I did not like to do anything unnatural and chemical treatments were totally unacceptable. In December 2018, I went to him for a haircut and he totally ignored me even though I had made an appointment with him earlier because he had so many customers at that time. His assistant defended him, saying that I did not make any appointment that day even though she was the one who picked up my call. I wasn't furious at all because his services were not free and could be considered as quite expensive. I smiled and said that it was okay and I would see him another day but in my heart I was saying that what I meant by 'another day' was 'never again'. I should have realized earlier that he wasn't interested in giving haircuts because he could make more money doing perms and rebonding.

It is not difficult to find another hairdresser as there are so many of them in Kuala Lumpur but a good one is hard to find. The new one was better as he did not force me to perm my hair or do rebonding. But the problem with him was each time I asked him to cut 2 inches he ended up cutting 1 cm. Even after not seeing him for 2 or 3 months, he still did not want to cut more than 1 cm and therefore it did not make any difference whether I went to him for a haircut or not. I won't deny the fact that I have not been getting a proper haircut for some time already. So the MCO came at a time when I desperately needed a haircut. I remembered some close friends of mine telling me that they have been cutting their own hair since their secondary school days and began to wonder whether I could do the same. Although I did not believe in cutting my own hair, I had no choice but to try and find out how this could be done professionally. After all, it might take months or even years before I dare to go to the hair salon again.

My MCO Haircut Kit

Although I had no confidence at all initially after reading some articles about quarantine haircuts that have gone wrong, I decided to give it a try. I started my coronavirus haircut with the haircut tutorial videos at Youtube and it did not take me long before I learnt this new skill. I have watched several videos and found this video particularly helpful as this was the kind of hairstyle I wanted. I would like to thank Patry Jordan English for sharing this beautiful video with us. Option 2 worked perfectly well for me. Since my hair was so long, it was not difficult to cut because I could see what I was cutting. Although it was my first attempt, my coronavirus haircut turned out to be a successful one. I was so happy because I did not believe I could do it so well. And what hair cutting tools did I use during the MCO? A pair of kitchen scissors, a comb, and a rubber band, that was all. So my dear readers, have confidence in yourselves and stay safe with your coronavirus haircut - it is possible to cut your own hair at home in a safe and hygienic environment. Remember to start with small cuts (1 cm) as you can always cut more after you have mastered the skill. Stay safe, stay healthy.

There are many haircut tutorial videos that you can easily find on the Internet depending on your needs and you will surely be able to find a suitable video or combination of videos that fit your requirements irrespective of whether your hair is long or short. Have confidence in yourself and ignore negative advice which says you cannot cut your own hair. If schoolchildren can do it, there is no reason why you can't. There is also no reason why your haircut should go wrong if you follow instructions and do it carefully. Believe me, you will feel proud of yourself when you do it right and come out with a successful haircut. I called my friends one by one the day I cut my hair for the first time and told them proudly of my successful endeavor. And here I am sharing this beautiful experience with my readers.

What are the benefits of cutting my own hair at home? It seems that my regular RM45 haircut is not a necessity anymore as I can easily do it myself now. With RM45, I can get 9 kg of mangoes and that's a lot. The good news is I don't have to waste time going to the hair salon as I can do it in the comfort of my home whenever I want. No more sitting for hours in the salon waiting for my turn in the queue - I really hate waiting. Apart from saving money and time, cutting my own hair also gives me a sense of satisfaction because the do-it-yourself version is safer, free of charge, and even better. Further, I don't have to tolerate the rude and irresponsible hairdressers' bad attitude anymore. Throughout the years, there have been countless times when I came back  from the hair salon with a bad haircut that had one side longer than the other and I had to fix it myself. The hairdressers were often reluctant to do anything with a completed haircut no matter how bad it turned out to be because they were just too busy with too many customers. Some would just do some tricks with the hair dryer to make both sides look as if they had the exact same length but after washing my hair it was obvious that they looked different. It was a terrible thing to pay so much for such shitty services and I am glad that this will not happen again. The most important thing is - I am in control of the outcome now.

What are the lessons that I have learnt from my coronavirus haircut? At certain times in our lives we may feel that certain things, people, or activities are indispensable and we cannot live without them. But if they are no longer there, do not feel sad because life has to go on and we will someday come across someone or something that is even better. Our lives change with time and we have to reshape our lives to adapt to these changes. Do not let the images of people with bad quarantine haircuts on social media scare us as these are intended to entertain the public! If we never try, we'll never know. If we really want to do something, we'll find a way. But, if our intention is to snap some photos of our disastrous quarantine haircuts and post them on social media to entertain the public, then we'll never find a way to do the right thing.