BERNADETTE'S BIRTHPLACE (BOLY MILL)

Boly Mill (Moulin de Boly)

Boly Mill, a modest two-storey building

More commonly known as Maison Natale de Bernadette or the "house where Bernadette was born", the Boly Mill is a modest two-storey building located at 12 rue Bernadette Soubirous, 65100 Lourdes.  It was the "Mill of Happiness" for the Soubirous family where they shared many happy moments of their lives for 10 years. Bernadette's parents, Francois Soubirous and Louise Casterot, were millers and they were well-known as the "Millers of Boly" in Lourdes. The Soubirous family was living in the Boly Mill when Bernadette was born on 7th January 1844. They lived there from 9th January 1843 until 24th June 1854 when they were evicted from the mill because they had no money to pay the rent of 250 francs a year. At that time, Bernadette was 10 years old.

Before the French Revolution, the mill belonged to Anne de Candebotte but when she married an English doctor, David Boly, the mill was named after him. The mill was actually Anne de Candebotte's dowry when she married the doctor on 19 June 1645. Over the years, the mill has changed hands several times. Augustin Casterot was the miller when he died in a cart accident on 1st July 1841. He left behind his widow, Claire, four young daughters and a little son. Claire needed a man to run the mill for her as she could not do it alone. Out of desperation, she has chosen Francois Soubirous, a 34-year-old bachelor who was working at a nearby mill, to become her son-in-law. She invited him to court her eldest daughter and heiress, Bernarde, but Francois fell in love with her second daughter, 16-year-old Louise, and was adamant to make her his wife. Although Claire Casterot initially tried to make Francois change his mind, she had no choice because he was so determined that she eventually relented.

The Soubirous Family Tree

Francois Soubirous and Louise Casterot were married at the parish church of Lourdes on 9 January 1843. They took up residence at Boly Mill because Claire Casterot has entrusted her son-in-law with the management of the mill. In 1848, Claire Casterot left Boly Mill with her other children to live with her eldest daughter, Bernarde, who was already married by then. Because of the strained relationship between Francois and his in-laws as well as overcrowding in the mill, this was probably the best solution for the Soubirous family. No doubt, Francois Soubirous was hardworking, honest, and kind but because of his immense generosity, the Soubirous family soon had to face serious financial problems. Further, their livelihood was adversely affected by the new steam-powered mills due to advances in technology during the Industrial Revolution. Business at the mill deteriorated, coupled with a series of adverse circumstances, finally reduced the Soubirous family to poverty and they were left without a choice but to leave the mill (Please read The Cachot to find out more about the poverty-stricken Soubirous family).

The ancient water-mill

Today, the Boly Mill is one of the pilgrims' favourite places. Admission is free. On the right of the ground floor is the ancient water-mill with its two grindstones. On the left is the room with a small collection of memorabilia which was once used for loading and unloading flour and cereals. On the first floor, visitors can see the bedroom where Bernadette was born. The other rooms in the building were occupied by Louise's mother and siblings. Since 1988, Boly Mill has become the property of "L'oeuvre de la Grotte" and looked after by the Daughters of the Church.

The bed in the room where Bernadette was born

The room where Bernadette was born

Here, in this kitchen which acted as a living room, the Soubirous family lived, welcomed others and prayed.

Boly Mill: The Interior

You may also like to read The Museum of Lourdes if you want to know more about the museums in Lourdes. To find out more about Lourdes, please click here to view the content page of this blog as there is a list of my articles about Lourdes on this page.


References:
1.  Lourdes & Bernadette by Antonio Bernardo. Publisher "il Calamo"
2.  Lourdes by Antonio Bernardo. Doucet Publications, Lourdes.
3.  Lourdes History. Editions A. Doucet - Lourdes

BERNADETTE'S FATHER'S HOUSE (LACADE MILL): THE MAISON PATERNELLE

Lacade Mill - Bernadette's Father's House

I took the above photo the day before I left Lourdes. I was very sad that day - just walking around looking for things to buy wishing that I could stay there forever and visiting all my favourite places again for one more time. I did a lot of shopping that day and I kept asking myself what was it that I have forgotten to buy because I did not want to leave out anything. Then I thought of Lacade Mill and went there to take another look at this place.

Moulin Lacade or Lacade Mill, also known as Bernadette's father's house, is very similar to Boly Mill (the house where Bernadette was born). During the time of the apparitions, there were around ten such mills located along the banks of the fast-flowing Lapacca Stream. Lacade Mill is situated at 2 rue Bernadette Soubirous, 65100 Lourdes. At the time of the apparitions, Lacade Mill belonged to Anselme Lacade, the Mayor of Lourdes. In July 1858, Father Peyramale, the Parish Priest of Lourdes from 1854 to 1872, rented the mill for the Soubirous family. On 20 August 1867, Monsignor Laurence, the Bishop of Tarbes and Lourdes, bought the mill and gave it to the Soubirous family to rescue them from poverty.

Bernadette rarely stayed at Lacade Mill. On 15 July 1860, she was admitted to the hospice of Lourdes where she received treatment following an attack of asthma. She stayed at the hospice and continued with her studies until her departure for the convent of Saint Gildard in Nevers. However, she often visited her family and spent time with them at the mill. On 4 July 1866, Bernadette left the hospice for the Saint Gildard Convent and never to return again. On 3 July 1866, one day before her departure, she dressed up secretly as a nun and went to the grotto to pray for the last time. She then visited her family at Lacade Mill and ate her farewell meal with them. That was the last evening she spent with her family.

The Lacade mill is a modest two-storey building. Inside this building, visitors will be able to see the pictures, furniture and objects which belonged to the Soubirous family. On the right of the ground floor, visitors can see the mill room where Francois Soubirous used to work until his death on 4 March 1871. In the adjacent room, some personal objects which belonged to Bernadette are displayed. On the left is the family kitchen where Bernadette said goodbye to her family before she left for the convent in Nevers. Going up the wooden staircase visitors will arrive at the upper floor where they can see the bedroom with a collection of memorabilia that belonged to Bernadette and her family.

Louise Soubirous passed away at Lacade Mill on 8th December 1866. Francois Soubirous died in this family home on 4 March 1871. One of Bernadette's brothers also died there. The Lacade Mill has remained the property of the descendants of Francois Soubirous and is still run by them.

Lacade Mill is one of the museums in Lourdes. You may also like to read The Museum of Lourdes if you want to know more about the numerous museums in Lourdes. To view the content page of this blog, please click here. There is a complete list of my articles about Lourdes on this page.


References:
1.  Lourdes. Andre Doucet Publications.
2.  Lourdes & Bernadette. Publisher "il Calamo".
3.  Lourdes: The Life of Bernadette, the Apparitions, the Shrines. Andre Doucet Publications

THE SEVENTEENTH APPARITION: THE MIRACLE OF THE CANDLE

In memory of the first candle lit by Bernadette on 19 February 1858, millions of pilgrims visit the Grotto in Lourdes to light candles as a symbol of their faith in God every year. 

On 7 April 1858, Bernadette went to the Grotto for the 17th apparition. The apparition took place at around 5.00 a.m. in the presence of hundreds of witnesses. Also present at this apparition was a very special witness, Doctor Jean-Baptiste Dozous, the atheist, notorious sceptic and disbelieving scientist. The miracle of the candle happened during this apparition whilst Bernadette was kneeling in prayer. During her ecstasy, Bernadette was holding a big candle in her right hand with her left hand cupped around the flame. Those who were present were filled with awe when they saw the candle flame licking her fingers for about 15 minutes. Bernadette did not suffer any injuries as the candle flame did not burn her skin. At that instant, she seemed to be totally oblivious to what was happening to her. 

One of the witnesses said, "Let's do something or the girl will get burned!" Dr Dozous, who was standing next to Bernadette, quieted the murmurs with an imperious gesture and prevented those who wanted to help from intervening. He wanted to witness a genuine supernatural phenomenon and led by the grace God, he was given the privilege to witness the miracle of the candle.

When Bernadette came out of her state of ecstasy, Doctor Dozous went straight to her and inspected her hands. He could not see any fire burn injuries - her hands were totally unaffected and there was no sign of a burn. He then placed the candle flame near Bernadette's hands but this time she cried: "Stop, you're hurting me!". The doctor's heart was beating wildly as he was very surprised by this supernatural phenomenon which cannot be explained naturally. He formally announced, "I believe it now. I saw it with my own eyes!" He then rushed to Cafe Francais to tell everyone about this supernatural incident and proclaim his conversion. It did not take very long before  everyone in the town of Lourdes knew what happened to him that day. 

The large cone-shaped candelabrum at the feet of the statue

Following Bernadette's example, lighting a candle at the Grotto has become a tradition today. Millions of pilgrims visit the Grotto to light candles every year as a symbol of their faith in God. Lighting the candles is equivalent to laying down their burdens, fears, uncertainties, worries, and miseries in front of the Grotto. Candles of various sizes can be found on the left of the drinking taps. The profits of the sale of candles are mainly used for the upkeep of the shrine.

You may also like to read LOURDES AND ST' BERNADETTE, LOURDES: MIRACLES AND THE MIRACULOUSLY HEALED and THE WONDERS OF LOURDES: 150 MIRACULOUS STORIES. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.

References:

1.  Lourdes & Bernadette. Publisher "il Calamo".

2.  Lourdes. Doucet Publications.

WHAT IS SO WRONG ABOUT PRAYING TO THE SAINTS?

The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Saints - one of my favorite books about saints.

Not so long ago in the distant past, I had a heated argument with a Christian friend of mine, Kelly (not her real name), about the issue of praying to saints. I don't quite remember which church she belongs to. This is because the name of this church sounds rather obscure and uncommon or perhaps too common to me. Certainly not the Methodist Church. Neither is it the Anglican nor the Lutheran Church as far as I can remember. It sounded something like Holy Fountain Church, Flowing Spring Church, or River of Life Church or is it Living Word Church, Holy Tongue Church, Peaceful Stream Church, Perfect Living Church, New Life Church, Great Hope Church, Green Pasture Church, Red River Valley Church, or Stepping Stone Church? It should be noted that these names are purely my own inventions as I do not know whether there are any churches with these names - I am only trying to say that the church Kelly goes to has a name which belongs to this category of names.  In Malaysia, anyone can rent a flat or a shop lot and call it a church and then call himself a pastor and start asking for donations. And Kelly belongs to this kind of church.

What did she say that started the argument? Well, according to her, Mary and the saints are just human beings like us and there is no reason why we should worship them. She also said that Mary is not a virgin and that she also has other children. Her duty is to give birth to Jesus and that is all. She then said that her church is genuine because they pray in tongues. How childish and ignorant of her to say all these things! Praying in tongues does not mean that her church is genuine. What is even more genuine is her pastor has lots of money to tour America with his wife and children at the end of the year - Kelly told me about this proudly.

It seems that many non-Catholics still do not understand that we do not worship Mary and the saints. We only pray to them. It should be noted that 'worship' and 'pray' are not the same. True worship belongs to God alone. We do not worship the saints. Why do we pray to the saints? We pray to the saints to ask them for help, for their intercession on our behalf and to thank them for helping us. Praying to saints is just like talking to someone who is very dear to us. I am sure that many of us would talk to our dead grandmother and ask for her blessings even though she is not a saint. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Perfectly normal, I would say. In the Chinese community, there are people who like to buy lottery tickets because they are so desperate to strike it rich and very often they would ask their ancestors to give them four digit numbers in their dreams. And of course there have been instances when these numbers appeared to them in their dreams!

Now to answer the question that Kelly asked, "Why don't you pray directly to God. Why should you ask someone else to intercede for you?" Of course we do pray to God directly but we also pray for each other and surely there is nothing wrong asking the saints to pray for us. It is just like having another member of our Church to pray for us. The saints are our friends and they will gladly help us if we ask them to intercede for us. Why do I say that the saints are our friends? Because they really are. I have prayed to St. Anthony for so many years and I find that he is always there whenever I need him. Hours before I boarded the plane to Lourdes in May 2008, I lost my keys. But I wasn't worried. I prayed to St. Anthony and somehow I got the feeling that my keys would be found on time. And I did find my keys on time! A few days ago, I lost my driving licence. I prayed to St. Anthony calmly believing that it would be found and not long after my prayers, I found my driving licence in a very unexpected place.

I have been praying to Father Damien even before he was canonized in 2009. Why do I pray to him? Because he is a very holy man. Because I have known since I was a child and he is like a dear old friend to me - a friend whom I adore, love, respect and honour. In fact, I am so used to him that I just couldn't help feeling his intense presence in my life. Yes, he is there and I am glad that I have a good friend like him. Through him, I found a lot of inspiration and encouragement. To a greater or lesser extent, he does have an influence in my life because he is my childhood hero and I will continue to venerate this hero all my life.

Since I came back from Medjugorje, I have been praying to Father Slavko Barbaric too. Or to be more exact, I like to talk to him and for a long, long time too. Why do I pray/talk to him? He is not a saint yet. Because he is a priest who lived a very holy life. Because of his sacrifices for the Church and God's people. Because he is a great scholar. Because he is a very unique and respectable priest. In reality, you can only pray to someone who is good because you know that he will help you. And you can only pray to someone whom you love, honor, and respect. And this is what Father Slavko is all about. And he will always live in my heart.

The apparitions of the Mother of God are nothing new and we all know that She does visit the earth and that Her visits are often followed by many miracles. In Lourdes, Medjugorje and Fatima, just to mention a few of the places that She has appeared, many miraculous healings have occurred and these cannot be contested. What do these apparitions signify? The Mother of God is real. The Catholic Church is real. Can we say that the Virgin Mary is human like us? Well, can we perform miracles like Her? Are we as holy as Her? To say that Her duty is to give birth to Jesus and nothing more reminds me of what the old-fashioned mother-in-laws used to do in the old cantonese movies. These irrational old ladies have the habit of taking away the baby (their grandchild) and dumping their daughter-in-law. What a pitiful sight! If we respect Jesus, we should also respect His Mother. Let us not be so inhuman as to take Jesus away from His Mother and then dump Her!

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read Beware of Greedy, Selfish and Money-Hungry Pastors, THE MESSAGE OF LOURDES and THE APPARITIONS OF OUR LADY AT MEDJUGORJE. To view the content page of this blog, please click here. 

THANK YOU ST ANTHONY

The grace that blossoms from the tombs of the elect is a continuous proclamation of truth. By it, God confounds the malice of heresy, confirms the truth of Catholic doctrine, renews the faith that is on the point of being extinguished and brings back erring Christians and even unbelievers to the feet of him who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. (In praise of St. Anthony, Pope Gregory IX).

In times of trouble, St. Anthony always guides me. He nevers fails to assist me whenever I call on him. In particular, he always helps me to find lost articles. My grateful thanks to St. Anthony for helping me to find my driving licence just now. (Please click here to view the contents page of this blog)

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR SPOUSE IS CHEATING ON YOU?

Do you know that every line on our palms tells a story? Merely by looking at these lines on our palms, one who has knowledge of palmistry can interpret the signs and symbols that are indelibly engraved on our palms. For instance, if there is a break in the line of life but the two fragments overlay each other, the subject will suffer from a very severe illness but he will recover. The shorter the line of life, the shorter the life. If the line terminates abruptly with a black dot at the end, the subject will have a violent death or die in an accident.

Now to answer the questions that some of my readers asked me regarding palmistry. Many of them believe that palmistry is superstition and that Catholics shouldn't believe in that. To me, palmistry is a science which can forecast the future. Knowing the future helps us to plan our lives wisely so that we can avoid misfortune. Supposing the subject knows that he will suffer from a grave illness at a certain age, he can pay more attention to his health and diet to prevent or lessen the severity of his illness. The lines on our palms are inborn and they have nothing to do with any higher spiritual power. Knowing ourselves and our lives will ensure that we do not live blindly. If we know that something bad is going to happen to us, we will try our best to prevent it and this is what palmistry is all about. Tonight, I will discuss about the line of marriage and how it can help us to avoid a painful relationship.

Everyone wants a blissful marriage and live happily ever after. It is the dream of every woman to marry a loving husband, raise their kids together, and grow old together. This is the ideal marriage but how many couples actually live happily ever after? Sad to say, "happily ever after" doesn't happen so easily in today' society as more and more marriages are coming to a sudden and painful end. More and more people are getting divorced nowadays because of conflict, incompatibility, domestic violence and the worst of all is, of course, third party interference. Many marriages break down not because the husband is flirtatious but because the wife has no luck in her love life as it is fated that her husband will leave her for another woman . Men naturally prefer younger women because they are more attractive - this is human nature. If a young and beautiful woman falls in love with a middle-aged man who is feeling bored and unhappy, it is difficult for him to reject this wonderful offer especially if he has been married for many years and feels that there is no more life in the marriage (Please read Will your husband divorce you and marry his lover?).

I remember one of my students telling me about her parents' divorce a few years back. Her grandmother used to say that her father even knelt down in front of her mother to beg her to marry him. But after 16 years, the marriage has gone stale because her father has fallen in love with another woman who is much younger than her mother. Her mother said that she was willing to "bermadu" (bermadu is a malay word meaning sharing her husband with another woman as muslims can take four wives) but her husband's new love said "no" and forced him to divorce his wife. What happened to the love that he had for her sixteen years ago? After the divorce, he gives her RM400 a month to support their three children which is not even enough to pay rent for the flat they are staying in but that is the only thing he can do for them after the divorce.

Recently, I read about a woman (in her fifties) who jumped from the windowsill and died because her husband threatened to divorce her. Why did he want to divorce his wife so suddenly? He has found a young new lover. According to their daughter, her father was sitting at the computer table and should be able to see what her mother was doing. So, he saw her sitting on the windowsill but why didn't he do anything to stop her? Or was it because he was hoping that she would end her life so that he could marry his new love? Ladies, think of it! Is it worth dying for a man who does not love you anymore? No doubt, women need love. But I honestly feel that it is better to become a nun than to die for a man who is not worth dying for.

There is a time set apart in one's life to marry or not to marry, to separate or divorce, to remarry or redivorce. Whatever will be, will be. If the marriage is fated to break down, it will break down. The whole idea about fate and destiny is also portrayed in the Bible where the hands of God preordaining the events in human history can be seen from Genesis to Revelation. In Luke 24:44 Jesus says, "everything written about me in the law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled." Thus we can see that even Jesus was not given much free will or choice during his earthly life as His life was predetermined by God. That was the reason why I learnt palmistry - to uncover the secrets in my destiny. Since the palm lines can reveal the whole story of our lives, studying these lines can lead to accurate predictions of the future.

How do you know if your marriage would last? How do you know if your husband is having an affair with another woman or whether there is third party interference in your marriage? Many women prefer to ignore this issue in the hope that their husbands would not cheat on them. However, it is always wiser for them not to be so naive as to believe that everything will be all right until it is too late to save the marriage. I remember telling one of my friends about her husband's activities with a younger woman but she refused to believe me until it was too late. The problem with her was she did not want to listen to any negative things about her husband. She also kept finding excuses for herself saying that the girl I saw could be her husband's colleague or cousin sister and she believed that her husband would not betray her. Or was she trying to escape reality because she feared losing him? Even during the early days of her marriage, I have already warned her to be extra careful with her husband because she has a troubled marriage line. But she said she didn't believe in palmistry and she had confidence in her husband since marriage is based on trust. Her husband finally divorced her and she is now single again - a single mother with three young children to support. To add salt to injury, her husband does even not bother to visit the children and always falls behind on alimony payments. What is she doing now? Trying to get a new husband but mother luck is never on her side as she continues to suffer from one broken relationship after another. I have already told her not to make a fool of herself but she does not listen to me and is still hoping to find someone. It's really sad to see her heart broken again and again as she wanders helplessly seeking men. When will she ever understand that life is not just about marriage?

Why did her husband divorce her? She is a good wife and mother. She is not ugly. She is a good cook. She doesn't like to nag at her husband. She is an obedient wife. She is the kind of woman who believes that her husband and children are her entire world. Sounds like a perfect wife, isn't she? Perhaps this question can be answered with reference to palmistry. The marriage line is like a mirror that can reveal the events taking place in a relationship or marriage. It can disclose whether the subject will have a successful romantic relationship or be disappointed in love. A straight and clear marriage line indicates a blissful marriage. The longer the line, the longer the marriage. However, the marriage will be in trouble if the following signs are seen on the palm: 

a) an island on the marriage line 

b) the marriage line is criss-crossed by many bars 

c) the marriage line is forked 

d) the marriage line is broken 

e) the marriage and heart lines have many islands on it 

f) the marriage line terminating in a fork with the fork drooping toward the line of heart

All these signs on the palm are indications of disappointments in love, failing relationships, third party interference, sexual infidelity, and divorce. A black spot on the marriage line indicates widowhood or widowerhood. When there are many fine lines running parallel to the marriage line, they represent the many love affairs outside the existing marriage (To view pictures of the lines of marriages, please click here).

My advice is take a good look at your marriage line before getting married. "Don't do something today, you know you will regret tomorrow, think before you act" (Rashida Rowe). Know your partner well before jumping into a marriage and never get blinded by love. Below are some of the tell-tale signs of husbands who are having extramarital affairs.
(a) When a man starts complaining about his wife and making a big fuss over her minor household mistakes - he is comparing his wife with his new love whom he feels is more superior than his wife.
(b) When a man becomes very particular with his looks, smell and dressing - he wants to look his best for his new love and and is worried that she may think that he is not handsome enough.
(c) When a man loses his temper easily in front of his wife and keeps telling her that they are not compatible - he is insinuating that he wants to divorce her.
(d) When a man dare not make eye contact with his wife - he has cheated on her.
(e) When a man gives all kinds of silly excuses to avoid having a sex with his wife - he is having a wonderful sexual relationship with his girlfriend.
(f) When a man often comes home late saying that he has to work overtime - he wants to spend more time with his lover.
(g) When a man is always busy smsing someone - he wants to keep in touch with his girlfriend all the time because he is very much in love with her.

Should a woman trust her husband 100% or should she spy on him? Well, let me share this real life story of what actually happened to one of my former colleagues. It has never been her style to spy on her husband but, one day, she left something at home and decided to go home to take it. That was when she discovered her husband's sexual relationship with their Indonesian maid. During those days when one can get a maid at RM400 per month, her husband has been paying the maid an extra RM300 monthly for her sexual services. Without second thought, she divorced her husband immediately. Did she do the right thing? Well, if she really cannot live without her husband, then she should keep one eye closed to his infidelity. If she really cannot tolerate him fooling around with other women, then divorce is a better choice. 

There are many marriages that break up after 10, 20 or even 30 years and it seems that men tend to initiate divorce more often than women. Why? Because men are very valuable and the older they are the more valuable they become. As a man grows older, he becomes more financially stable compared to his younger days and therefore can easily become the target of young ladies who are looking for financial security. Never mind his age - he may be in his seventies but he can still marry a young lady in her twenties as long as he has lots of money. But, a rich young man in his twenties would never marry a woman who is already in her seventies - he would rather starve. Once, when I was buying my lunch at the restaurant near my school, I overheard the conversation between two uncles who were already in their sixties. Guess what they were talking about? They said that men are much fewer in number than women and that the government should change the law to allow every man to take two wives legally. These two uncles also said that women in their 40s were too old for them and they preferred those in their 30s. It seems that our Malaysian uncles also know how valuable they are! The uncles' conversation above clearly explains why it is almost impossible for older women to find their soul mates. Men of their age or even older would prefer to go for younger women but younger men would not go for older women. 

It is not uncommon for an older woman (who feels that she cannot satisfy her husband's needs anymore) to get her husband a younger wife so that this young woman can tend to his needs. This has happened to a few of my colleagues. Once, I was talking to two of my colleagues telling them that one of the teachers was giving out bunga telur (a wedding souvenir for guests) because her husband was getting married to a woman half her age and I thought that they would sympathize with her. But, instead of sympathizing with her, they said that she was doing the right thing and gave me many examples of women like her who were getting along very well with their madu (husband's second wife). According to them, these second wives even looked after the first wives when they were sick. Well, if they don't mind sharing their husbands with other women, then there shouldn't be any problems at all. But, problems do arise if a woman cannot tolerate her husband's extramarital affairs and the other women in his life.

What should you do if your husband has been unfaithful? If you feel that the marriage can still be saved, why not try to talk things out with him and find a solution? If he still wants to fool around but has no intention to divorce you and you still love him, learning to forgive and forget is possibly the best thing to do. Many women prefer to suffer in silence as long as their husband knows the way home. If he insists to divorce you, then you have to replan your future and learn to be independent. Being single again may not be a bad thing - it is certainly less stressful than living with a stranger who no longer has any feelings for you. Looking for new love is natural after a divorce but do not go all the way out to seek man and in the process degrade yourself. There is no such thing as one cannot live without a man. Who knows, your life will be much happier and meaningful without being stressed out by a painful marriage.

Thanks for reading. You may also like to read How Long Should a Widower Wait to Remarry After the Death of His Wife?; MARRIAGE AFTER 50: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO CONSIDER? and How to Leave the Past Behind You and Move Forward. To view the content page of this blog, please click here.