Priestly celibacy has been guarded by the Church for centuries as a brilliant jewel, and retains its value undiminished even in our time when the outlook of men and the state of the world have undergone such profound changers - POPE PAUL VI, SACERDOTALIS CAELIBATUS
Everyone who has given up home, brothers or sisters, father or mother, wife or children or lands for my sake will receive a hundred times as much in return and inherit eternal life (Matthew 19:29).
A man is better off having no sexual relations with a woman (1 Corinthians 7:1).
I tell you dear brothers and sisters, the time is short. From now on, those who have wives should live as though they had none (1 Corinthians 7:29).
I would like you to be without care. The unmarried man is busy with the Lord's affairs and concerned with pleasing the Lord; but the married man is busy with the things of the world and occupied with pleasing his wife. This means his interests are divided (1 Corinthians 7:32-33).
What do these quotations mean? These are beautifully explained in one of the "Quote for Priests" from Father Anthony Ho's blog that I would like to share with my readers. Here it goes:
It is true, one reason why the Church requires celibacy in her priests is that one who is free from the cares and responsibilities of family life can more completely and wholeheartedly devote himself to the work of the sacred ministry. But the deeper and more spiritual reason is that the soul which is free from the bonds of earthly love, however noble and pure it may be, is better disposed for an ardent and unselfish love of God.
One cannot deny the fact that celibate priests can devote themselves completely and wholeheartedly to the Church since they are free from the burdens and responsibilities of family life. Truly, priestly celibacy is a blessing bestowed upon the Church and celibate priests are our greatest gifts from God - so rare, valuable and precious. They are another Christ (Alter Christus), men taken from among men to serve and lead the Church through their priestly ministry. They are selfless and holy men who offer their whole humanity to God for our salvation. The priestly vocation is not a job or a career but a calling - it requires lots of sacrifices. Since celibacy is an altruistic act, not many men can take a lifelong vow of celibacy because only those with a heroic soul can afford to do that. I pray that God will grant us more celibate priests who will walk in the footsteps of Jesus to serve the Church. In this morally decadent world, those who can relinquish sex are hard to come by and that is why our celibate priests have become our priceless treasures today.
I have never had sex before and I don't know how enjoyable or important it is. But I do know that it certainly has got nothing to do with holiness, purity and chastity. Here I would like to share a real life story that my grandmother used to tell me when I was still a little girl. This is how it goes: When my uncle got married, someone gave him a wooden crucifix. He hung it on the wall just above his marital bed. Both my uncle and his wife suddenly fell ill but they didn't know what was wrong. They just coudn't get well. When my grandmother visited them, she saw the crucifix in their bedroom and suggested that they should remove it and put it elsewhere. After removing the crucifix from their bedroom, my uncle and his wife were immediately healed from their mysterious illness. Whether it is a coincidence or not, having sex in front of Jesus doesn't seem to be the right thing to do. If sex is something which is holy, pure and chaste, then, why not have sex in the Church?
Would the Catholic Church be better served if priests were allowed to marry? No doubt a celibate priest can offer his entire self and devote all his time to the service of God's people but a married priest would be unable to give himself fully to the Church as he tends to get bogged down with earthly things. If he gives more importance to his wife and children and puts them above everything else, there would be conflict between his spiritual and familial duties. With a family to support, he will also ask for more money but can the pay raise increase his work performance? According to Patricia Dixon, the wife of a former Protestant pastor in her article entitled "Why a Married Priesthood Won’t Remedy the Priest Shortage" (summarized below):
Supporters of a married clergy should consider the realistic consequences of their optimistic views. For instance, let's consider a typical, moderately large parish in a rich community in America where three priests are living in a rectory which houses the parish office. What would happen to this parish if these three priests were married? Needless to say, the parish would need a few more priests because married priests cannot give all their time to the Church as their families are their top priority. This would mean that the parish may end up having five or six priests instead of three, thus leaving no sensible solution to the priest shortage even if the number of priests were to double in America following the abolition of celibacy rules. To keep their families above the federal poverty line, those married priests would need a salary raise of three times their current earnings. Of course, we cannot expect those six families to live in that rectory with the parish office in the home of one of them. So, they would need six houses and more space elsewhere instead of just one rectory. Therefore, supporting six married priests and their families will cost the parish more than six times of what it used to spend on three celibate priests. The priests may also have to take on second jobs to boost their income and would have less time to serve God and His people. So, even if the parishioners could support their six priests, they will still lack priestly attention. Every married pastor has to face the tensions of meeting the needs of the Church versus the needs of his family since both the Church and his family demand half of his time and energy. The church members may also feel uncomfortable when the pastor's wife gets pregnant as she is the living symbol of his active sex life.
How right she is! Patricia Dixon's article, Why a Married Priesthood Won't Remedy the Priest Shortage, does have a lot of truth in it. Well written, precise and straight to the point, it tells us what exactly will happen to the Catholic Church if priests were allowed to get married. Jesus was pure and chaste and he was free from worldly anxieties as he did not have to worry about how to make more money to give his wife and children a comfortable life. What would be the fate of Christianity if Jesus were busy working multiple jobs to earn extra money for the sake of his family?
Can a married priest give all his time and energy to the Church? During my college days, I used to visit a home for the former drug addicts and it was fun chatting with them and playing table tennis with them. We also washed the dishes together after lunch. When I asked them how often their pastor (who were caring for people with drug addictions) visited them, they told me that he seldom came to see them after he got married. And after his first baby came, they saw even less of him. What does this suggest? That a married pastor will put his family first and and in doing so, he has to neglect his pastoral duties. Like all married men, a married priest wants to finish his work fast and go home early to be with his wife and children. He cannot be late because he has to fetch his children from school and drive his wife to the supermarket to shop for groceries. And of course he shouldn't miss dinner. His wife doesn't like that - family meals are important for family bonding. Thus the priesthood seems to be more like an occupation to him - a 9-to-5 job that provides him with an income to support his wife and children. And a married man is particularly happy when he sees the happy faces of his wife and children receiving unexpected presents. That is why church members like to buy gifts for their pastors' family members. According to one of my former classmates, her pastor is exceptionally kind and friendly to all those who always buy presents for his wife and children. These presents are not cheap - his son got a bicyle recently from one of the church members! But of course we cannot blame the pastor. He certainly wants the best for his wife and children even if it is at the expense of the church members.
A married man is always busy thinking of ways to increase his income because he wants to give his wife and children a good life. With a family to support, money will never be enough. His wife and children may want him to purchase luxury items for them such as jewelry, watches, smartphones, Birkin bags, or even a sports car and a new mansion. If a priest is only concerned with making money to give his wife and children a comfortable / lavish life, the priesthood is no longer a vocation but some kind of occupation or money making institution for a family man. Can anyone imagine what would happen if we have priests who are always busy doing direct selling (such as Amway or Cosway products) in the Church together with their wives? Business would be good for sure because of the church members' support since many of them treat their pastors like God. But is this the kind of priests we can honor, respect and love?
On the contrary, a celibate priest has all the time in the world to do God's work. He doesn't have to be on time for dinner with his wife and children. He doesn't have to keep thinking that he must finish his work fast so that he can go home early. He doesn't have to think of ways to increase his income. And most of all, he can devote all his time to the parish and the parishioners will never find themselves short of priestly attention. As such, the priesthood is only suitable for those men who are ready to live the life of Christ and willing to devote their entire lives to walk in His footsteps.
If you like this article, you may also want to read Why Pope Benedict XVI Clarifies, Reaffirms, Reinforces and Defends Celibacy; Taxi Driver Wanted to Become a Married Catholic Priest; and Beware of Greedy, Selfish and Money-Hungry Pastors.
A married man is always busy thinking of ways to increase his income because he wants to give his wife and children a good life. With a family to support, money will never be enough. His wife and children may want him to purchase luxury items for them such as jewelry, watches, smartphones, Birkin bags, or even a sports car and a new mansion. If a priest is only concerned with making money to give his wife and children a comfortable / lavish life, the priesthood is no longer a vocation but some kind of occupation or money making institution for a family man. Can anyone imagine what would happen if we have priests who are always busy doing direct selling (such as Amway or Cosway products) in the Church together with their wives? Business would be good for sure because of the church members' support since many of them treat their pastors like God. But is this the kind of priests we can honor, respect and love?
On the contrary, a celibate priest has all the time in the world to do God's work. He doesn't have to be on time for dinner with his wife and children. He doesn't have to keep thinking that he must finish his work fast so that he can go home early. He doesn't have to think of ways to increase his income. And most of all, he can devote all his time to the parish and the parishioners will never find themselves short of priestly attention. As such, the priesthood is only suitable for those men who are ready to live the life of Christ and willing to devote their entire lives to walk in His footsteps.
How would the church members feel when the pastor's wife gets pregnant? To answer this question, let me share what my classmates used to do whenever a teacher got pregnant. Well, the things they said were so funny that the whole class would burst into laughter because their minds were so imaginative. Today's children are the same - not only will they joke about their teachers' pregnancy in class, they will also make their remarks on Facebook. If school children can be so imaginative, what about the congregation in church especially when the pastor's wife's baby bump is a symbol of his sexual activities?
We call a priest Father. Can we marry our own father and have sex with him? Priests are supposed to live the life of Christ. But is the life of a married priest a reflection of Christ's life? Christ is celibate and he was ready to die on the cross for our sins because it was His Father's will. Had Jesus ever said, "Father, please spare me my life. I want to take care of my wife and see my children grow up. I can't die on the cross. Family firstlah." If these were His words, Christianity wouldn't have existed at all!
There is no such thing as the Church denying the priests the human rights to get married. Priesthood is a choice and the vows of chastity are to be taken freely. Those who feel that they cannot live the life of Christ can always get married and get a job elsewhere to support their wife and children. They don't have to keep eyeing the priesthood and pestering the Pope to change the rules of the Church for them. No doubt it is not easy to get a respectful and secure job that can provide well for their families during this period of recession but it should be remembered that the priesthood is a vocation and not an occupation. If they really love to help out in Church, they can always come to Church to lend a helping hand. Many lay preachers are doing that free of charge in Malaysia.
Should priests be allowed to get married then all the jobless men on the streets would be fighting for this job. Where on earth can they find such a respectful and secure job nowadays? Their wives and children would be well provided for by the Church and live a comfortable life. Who doesn't want that? Of course there would be no more shortage of priests when the Roman Catholic priesthood becomes an occupation!
Who says that celibate priests cannot give advice on family matters? The capability to give advice does not depend on whether they are married or not. I give advice and help to single mom, divorcees, and women suffering from broken relationships to help them live their lives again. I don't have to be a divorcee or a single mother or suffer from some kind of broken relationship to do that. I may never have been married or fallen in love before but this does not deter me from observing and analysing the world around me and learn from the experiences of others. I also give counseling and help to rape victims but this does not mean that I have to be a rape victim myself! Celibate priests understand the sacrificial nature and sanctity of marriage in a way that few married men could do and are certainly better counselors in the ways of keeping the wedding vows and maintaining a good marriage relationship (including fidelity in marriage) compared to married priests.
Who says that married men would not get involved in sex scandals? Maybe some of you would have read about the case of Ahmad Najib - a married man who raped, killed, burnt and chopped off the legs of the beautiful Canny Ong. He was sentenced to death. No doubt he was married but this did not deter him from raping another woman. Then there was Lily Chua's case back in 1993 where the pastor turned music teacher, murdered her and cut her into eleven pieces before he dumped her body parts in a drain and a ravine. Fearing that his wife would discover his affair with Lily Chua, the pastor had no choice but to kill Lily Chua and then destroyed her body completely so that no one would discover his extra-marital affair. The pastor was sentenced to 12 years in prison but was released from prison after 8 years because of good behavior. Extra-marital affairs are so common nowadays. When a man is married it doesn't mean that he wouldn't be interested in another woman. Most sexual abusers are not celibate. It's licentiousness that breeds sexual abuse, not celibacy!
We call a priest Father. Can we marry our own father and have sex with him? Priests are supposed to live the life of Christ. But is the life of a married priest a reflection of Christ's life? Christ is celibate and he was ready to die on the cross for our sins because it was His Father's will. Had Jesus ever said, "Father, please spare me my life. I want to take care of my wife and see my children grow up. I can't die on the cross. Family firstlah." If these were His words, Christianity wouldn't have existed at all!
There is no such thing as the Church denying the priests the human rights to get married. Priesthood is a choice and the vows of chastity are to be taken freely. Those who feel that they cannot live the life of Christ can always get married and get a job elsewhere to support their wife and children. They don't have to keep eyeing the priesthood and pestering the Pope to change the rules of the Church for them. No doubt it is not easy to get a respectful and secure job that can provide well for their families during this period of recession but it should be remembered that the priesthood is a vocation and not an occupation. If they really love to help out in Church, they can always come to Church to lend a helping hand. Many lay preachers are doing that free of charge in Malaysia.
Should priests be allowed to get married then all the jobless men on the streets would be fighting for this job. Where on earth can they find such a respectful and secure job nowadays? Their wives and children would be well provided for by the Church and live a comfortable life. Who doesn't want that? Of course there would be no more shortage of priests when the Roman Catholic priesthood becomes an occupation!
Who says that celibate priests cannot give advice on family matters? The capability to give advice does not depend on whether they are married or not. I give advice and help to single mom, divorcees, and women suffering from broken relationships to help them live their lives again. I don't have to be a divorcee or a single mother or suffer from some kind of broken relationship to do that. I may never have been married or fallen in love before but this does not deter me from observing and analysing the world around me and learn from the experiences of others. I also give counseling and help to rape victims but this does not mean that I have to be a rape victim myself! Celibate priests understand the sacrificial nature and sanctity of marriage in a way that few married men could do and are certainly better counselors in the ways of keeping the wedding vows and maintaining a good marriage relationship (including fidelity in marriage) compared to married priests.
Who says that married men would not get involved in sex scandals? Maybe some of you would have read about the case of Ahmad Najib - a married man who raped, killed, burnt and chopped off the legs of the beautiful Canny Ong. He was sentenced to death. No doubt he was married but this did not deter him from raping another woman. Then there was Lily Chua's case back in 1993 where the pastor turned music teacher, murdered her and cut her into eleven pieces before he dumped her body parts in a drain and a ravine. Fearing that his wife would discover his affair with Lily Chua, the pastor had no choice but to kill Lily Chua and then destroyed her body completely so that no one would discover his extra-marital affair. The pastor was sentenced to 12 years in prison but was released from prison after 8 years because of good behavior. Extra-marital affairs are so common nowadays. When a man is married it doesn't mean that he wouldn't be interested in another woman. Most sexual abusers are not celibate. It's licentiousness that breeds sexual abuse, not celibacy!
Sexual abuse in Protestant Churches is not uncommon and many pastors in the various Protestant denominations have turned out to be sexual predators as well even though they are married. The case of the pedophile pastor, Dawid Volmer (a married father-of-two), who has been jailed for more than 10 years for raping a 13-year-old girl and stupefying her with amyl nitrite vapour, as she was lying naked and blindfolded on a bed, is a very clear example of this. And of course one cannot deny the fact that there have been many arrests involving Protestant pastors who were charged with sex crimes. Please read CORRUPT RELIGIOUS LEADERS: PASTORS AND SEX CRIMES to find out what Protestant pastors can do to their sex victims. These 40 cases are amongst some of the pastors' sexual abuse cases reported to the authorities and the media from October 2017 to January 2018. How come no one is making a fuss over the wicked things that Protestant pastors did to their sex victims? Is it because they are married and it is alright for married men to do such things? In Horus Gilgamesh's “25 MORE SHOCKING ARRESTS”: PASTORS CHARGED WITH SEX CRIMES, out of the 25 sex crimes involving pastors that hit the local news in May 2014, only one of the perpetrators was Catholic. What about the rest? Your average Protestant pastors that no one would have ever suspected of being sexual predators preying on vulnerable women and children! Celibacy is therefore not to blame for sexual abuse in the Catholic Church as the problems of sex abuse are greater and more serious among Protestant pastors. It seems that married Protestant pastors have stronger sexual needs and are more obsessed with sex than unmarried priests.
If you like this article, you may also want to read Why Pope Benedict XVI Clarifies, Reaffirms, Reinforces and Defends Celibacy; Taxi Driver Wanted to Become a Married Catholic Priest; and Beware of Greedy, Selfish and Money-Hungry Pastors.
Hi Lavinia
ReplyDeleteI accidentally came across your blog and see your much loved experience from Mother Mary and God.
However, then I read your profile and there is something that caught my eyes "Can read palms and give advice on feng shui matters". Catholics do not read palms, or give advice on feng shui matters. It is liked having God on one hand and think no harm done if I try reading my palm or feng shui matters. Catholics cannot, as we worship God as the only God on earth, good or bad! This is idolatry and that's how the Jews had their experience in exile. It is all in the Bible!
All the best,